Donkey Punch

December 17, 2008

Meet the Automatic Complaint Generator

Filed under: Politics, Progosphere — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 1:46 pm


So Obama is having noted evangelical preacher and Proposition 8 supporter Rick Warren to give his inaugural invocation. And the right thought he was the most liberal senator.

In honor of this, and because I consider my self progressive and have not complained about Obama yet, I will see what the old complaint generator gives me:

My complaint about Pres. Obama

Although Pres. Obama wants nothing less than to make mountains out of molehills, I want this letter to speak a language of reconciliation, not retaliation. For the sake of review, we must help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his compeers. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even Dadaism. You must be the one to deal with him appropriately. And you must inform your fellow man that my purpose here is not to encourage the ethos of exchange value over use value. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that in a tacit concession of defeat, Pres. Obama is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what his cuckoo canards have failed at.

By framing the question in this way we see that if anything will free us from the shackles of Pres. Obama’s disorderly expositions, it’s knowledge of the world as it really is. It’s knowledge that he believes that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. Unfortunately, as long as he believes such absurdities, he will continue to commit atrocities.

As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Pres. Obama’s sympathizers don’t really care that simplism was founded on a world system of enslavement and land theft. But you knew that already. So let me add that his cop-outs are not witty satire, as Pres. Obama would have you believe. They’re simply the shrewish, disingenuous ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he’s mocking. Even as I write those words I can feel Pres. Obama cringe. That’s okay. Cringe. I don’t care because you might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us speak up and speak out against him. No one has located the document in which Pres. Obama said that. No one has identified when or where Pres. Obama said that. That’s because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Pres. Obama’s idiotic claim that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician’s magic hat is just that, an idiotic claim. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me help you reflect and reexamine your views on Pres. Obama, and together we’ll take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on his sententious, recalcitrant subliminal psywar campaigns. We’ll shout back at his propaganda. I’m counting on you. Thanks for reading this.

Go try it yourself. I find it especially fun when playing with trolls.

Oh, and I can’t believe the leader of the most powerful military-industrial complex in the world has not upheld my steadfast progressive values. Really. Who could have seen this coming?

h/t Righteous Bubba

September 4, 2008

People Power

Filed under: Politics, Progosphere, protest — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 10:31 am

Rage Against the Machine shows how its done.

h/t Crooks & Liars

August 19, 2008

John McCain may be a Veteran, but he was Not Tortured.

That’s right, folks. john McCain can shut his old, wrinkly claptrap about being tortured.

All the things done to McCain in Vietnam – stress positions, sleep deprivation, extreme temperatures, withholding medical attention, beatings – were legalized by the Military Commissions Act of 2006.

Andrew Sullivan via jpadgett:

No war crimes were committed against McCain. And the techniques used are, according to the president, tools to extract accurate information. And so the false confessions that McCain was forced to make were, according to the logic of the Bush administration, as accurate as the “intelligence” we have procured from “interrogating” terror suspects…the government of the United States now practices the very same techniques that the Communist government of North Vietnam once proudly used against American soldiers.

Not Torture

HEY, OLD MAN! QUIT YER BITCHIN’! I’m sure Ho Chi Minh determined that Enhanced Interogation Techniques were necessary to guard against the American threat, so who are you to complain?

Do you hear these guys complaining?:

Godwinned Again!

June 30, 2008

About My Awareness

Let me show you:

The backstory is here.

And as to the case of all internet traditions (all of which I am aware), there’s a blog.

June 11, 2008

I’m Voting Republican.

Filed under: I'm Voting Republican, Politics, Progosphere — t4toby @ 11:39 am

And here’s why.

October 18, 2007

Chris Dodd in ’08!


Something amazing happened today. A presidential candidate stepped forward and showed true leadership in the face of our runaway president and the corporations that hold the puppet strings.

Chris Dodd will put a hold on the horrible Fisa capitulation bill. Greenwald breaks it down.

I am officially supporting Chris Dodd for President in 2008. I contacted the campaign to start volunteering this morning. I am very happy to have a candidate that takes the shredding of the Constitution seriously. None of the big three (Clinton, Edwards, Obama) seem to have a clue when it comes to our basic rights. Could that be because the have tons of corporate cash in their pockets.

I’d be real happy with a Dodd/Obama ticket. I don’t think that Barak has quaffed too much Kool-Aid yet, but he’s certainly teetering above the slippery slope.

Check out Dodd’s website, and sign the petition.

October 12, 2007

Relax. The NeoCons are Doomed.


I stumbled across and article in Smithsonian Magazine that prompted some thoughts. The article is about a young behavioral research scientist who studies chimpanzees. He has looked into the link between aggressive behavior and intelligence:

…we would not have evolved the kind of intelligence we have—the kind that allows us to use our brains together, to build things, to be mentally flexible—if we hadn’t had a shift in temperament.” That is, we had to become more like bonobos and less like chimps, which are high-strung, fearful of strangers and generally intolerant of any chimp lower on the social hierarchy. “We had to lose all those traits in order to become who we are.”

The article explains how he studied foxes at a research facility in Siberia. These foxes have been bred for compatibility with people, and nothing else. So this scientist, Brian Hare, devised tests to asses the ability of the foxes to infer what another being is thinking from social cues. The selectively bred foxes:

…performed brilliantly on tests to understand human gestures, while a control group of normal foxes did not. “The fearless foxes hadn’t been selected to be smarter,” notes Hare. “They were selected for ‘niceness,’ for being able to be handled…

So a tentative link is being drawn between the ability to get along with others and intelligence.

…some scientists have claimed that animals are more likely to survive and reproduce if they are able to read social cues…
But Hare focuses on a slightly different type of social intelligence, the ability to work with others, regardless of whether they are strangers or rank lower in the social hierarchy. Hare’s quest [is] to find the primate roots of our social tolerance—and hence, according to him, our intelligence…

He also finds that when testing chimpanzees for similar traits, the more aggressive chimps fail:

…”because of social tensions. They can’t get beyond that to work together,” Hare says. “Only those chimps that eat together are able to cooperate to solve this task.”

Cue every hedonist’s favorite primate, the bonobos:

But bonobos, close relatives of chimps, relieve social tensions quickly and enthusiastically: when two or more bonobos, of either gender, encounter each other, they have a quick bout of sex. Then they settle down and work on the problem together. Bonobos ace Hare’s tests.

This all makes me wonder if the reason they can’t find a single missing link is because there are more than one. Is it not possible that in separate parts of the world, advanced species of primates could have evolved in a parallel manner? This would explain the chasm that exists between the Right and Left in this country. And, according to this article, the species more adapted to cooperation and empathy is bound to win out in the end. If they don’t kill us all first.

September 24, 2007

Like School on Saturday.

Filed under: Abendinajad, Ahmadinejad, GWOT, Iran, No Class, Politics, Progosphere, war — t4toby @ 3:32 pm

Fat Albert
No Class.

The frat boys have really taken over the country.

Follow that link to see the ridiculous CBS interview of Mahmoud A.

Some gems:

Sir, what were you thinking? The World Trade Center site is the most sensitive place in the American heart, and you must have known that visiting there would be insulting to many, many Americans.


Mr. President, you say that the two nations are very close to one another, but it is an established fact now that Iranian bombs and Iranian know-how are killing Americans in Iraq. You have American blood on your hands. Why?


Mr. President, you must have rejoiced more than anyone when Saddam Hussein fell. You owe President Bush. This is one of the best things that’s ever happened to your country.

This response should have sufficed as an answer to every question this self-righteous asshat asked:

AHMADINEJAD: Are you an American politician? Am I to look at you as an American politician or a reporter?

So you’d think that the president of a major university would treat a visiting head of state with some dignity? Think again.

Mr. Bollinger asked Mr. Ahmadinejad: “Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator, and so I ask you, and so I ask you, why have women, members of the Baha’i faith, homosexuals and so many of our academic colleagues become targets of persecution in your country?”

h/t Sewell Chan

So the once proud victor of World War Two, the mighty country that stared down the Soviet Union in the Cold War, the beacon of liberty and freedom, is now reduced to taking petty shots at some two-bit crack pot?

What does this say about are country? If you ask me, I’d say it speaks volumes about how far the public discourse has fallen in the last ten to twenty years.  Seriously, it is like the whole county is now an episode of Jackass.

I think the most striking thing about Abendinajad is how closely his rhetoric mirrors Cheney’s. They are both war monger assholes salivating at the mouth thinking about the orgasmic release of sending people to die over petty politics.

So am I defending President A? No, but I am defending the need for a grown-up diplomatic discourse. Because this shit is like school during summer…

(I intentionally spelled his name differently in this post. It seems that no one in the MSM can seem to agree just what this dood’s name is…)

September 21, 2007

I found the Dem’s spine! (Updated)

Filed under: MoveOn, Politics, Progosphere, Progressive Party, protest, war — t4toby @ 2:08 pm

Its called

The new ad starts off:

Congressional Representation, or “Ass Kissing Little Chickenshits”

I’m not kidding. It’s set to run in the Sunday New York Times.

Congressional Dems? Take note. This is the way you push back.

Dood Abides over at Kos has the whole story.

Update: I regret to inform my readers that I am very gullible. Not wingnut gullible, but gullible none the less. I thought this was too good to be true. Apparently, it is.

But wait.

September 13, 2007

What a drag.

Filed under: Big Dick, Politics, Progosphere, Progressive Party, Revolution, Third Party — t4toby @ 3:35 pm


See anything familiar in this picture? There, right in the lower right hand corner. It’s us. being dragged. By who, you ask? Is that manly man hunter Big Dick? Nope, its the Democrats. Dragging us to war in Iran.

I’m beginning to think that what we really need to do is to start a Progressive Party. Fuck the Democrats. they are as bad, if not worse than the Republicrooks. At least the Rs have vision and chuzpah. All the dems have is not on the table.

If the Netroots and and Progressives, along with the disillusioned Independents banded together, we could turn the political system upside down. I’m thinking Schecter/Hamsher, 2012. Or something. Juan Cole as the Sec of State, Glenn Greenwald as AG?
We could put dark horse Perrin in as SecDef, Schwartz as Secretary of Education, and me? Who’s in charge of the Drug War again?

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