In honor of this, and because I consider my self progressive and have not complained about Obama yet, I will see what the old complaint generator gives me:
My complaint about Pres. Obama
Although Pres. Obama wants nothing less than to make mountains out of molehills, I want this letter to speak a language of reconciliation, not retaliation. For the sake of review, we must help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his compeers. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even Dadaism. You must be the one to deal with him appropriately. And you must inform your fellow man that my purpose here is not to encourage the ethos of exchange value over use value. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that in a tacit concession of defeat, Pres. Obama is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what his cuckoo canards have failed at.
By framing the question in this way we see that if anything will free us from the shackles of Pres. Obama’s disorderly expositions, it’s knowledge of the world as it really is. It’s knowledge that he believes that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. Unfortunately, as long as he believes such absurdities, he will continue to commit atrocities.
As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Pres. Obama’s sympathizers don’t really care that simplism was founded on a world system of enslavement and land theft. But you knew that already. So let me add that his cop-outs are not witty satire, as Pres. Obama would have you believe. They’re simply the shrewish, disingenuous ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he’s mocking. Even as I write those words I can feel Pres. Obama cringe. That’s okay. Cringe. I don’t care because you might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us speak up and speak out against him. No one has located the document in which Pres. Obama said that. No one has identified when or where Pres. Obama said that. That’s because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Pres. Obama’s idiotic claim that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician’s magic hat is just that, an idiotic claim. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me help you reflect and reexamine your views on Pres. Obama, and together we’ll take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on his sententious, recalcitrant subliminal psywar campaigns. We’ll shout back at his propaganda. I’m counting on you. Thanks for reading this.
Go try it yourself. I find it especially fun when playing with trolls.
Oh, and I can’t believe the leader of the most powerful military-industrial complex in the world has not upheld my steadfast progressive values. Really. Who could have seen this coming?
h/t Righteous Bubba