Donkey Punch

June 30, 2008

About My Awareness

Let me show you:

The backstory is here.

And as to the case of all internet traditions (all of which I am aware), there’s a blog.

May 16, 2008

Mind Blowing

Filed under: Blu, Insane Art, Not Politics — t4toby @ 2:34 pm

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

h/t Balloon Juice

The amount of work that must have gone into this is admirable, to say the least.

Where’s my Hope Bong when I need it?

(What gives with wordpress? I tried every way I could to embed the player, but wordpress keeps editing out the embed info every time I hit ‘Save’. I am not stupid, I swear!)

January 15, 2008

How many miles do you got on that thing?

Filed under: 2012, Maya Calendar, Not Politics, Tinfoil Hat — t4toby @ 3:42 pm


Get out the tinfoil hats, kiddies, its time to talk about the Maya calendar.

The Maya Calendar is a calendar based on the movements of the heavens and the Earth’s rotational precession. The cycle of this precession is about 26,000 years, or one Platonic year. That cycle comes to a close on the Winter Solstice, 2012.

Actually, the Maya used 3 calendars, but I am only thinking about the Long Count. Somewhere around December 21, 2012, a Great Cycle (1,872,000 days) that began August 11, 3114 BCE will come to a close. The sun’s ecliptic path will exactly coincide with the equator of the Milky Way in a region known as the Sacred Tree. The Sacred Tree was believed to be the entrance to the underworld by the Maya. Or to put it another way:

Mythically, at sunrise on December 21, 2012, the Sun- our Father- rises to conjoin the center of the Sacred Tree, the World Tree, the Tree of Life.

To think of this in visual terms, imagine the belt of the Milky Way leading all the way from Polaris to exactly where the sun will rise on that equinox. (Powerful stuff when you live in a world without artificial lighting.)
There is a lot of information out there about this. A large group of people seem to interpret this as the end of time, Armageddon. However:

The astronomer Philip Plait has stated very clearly that the Mayan calendar does not end in 2012 at all, that it is like the odometer on your car, as each section of the odometer reaches 9 and then clicks over to 0, the next number to it starts a new cycle, so that when all the numbers again reach 0 all the way across the odometer – the last number will change from 1 to 2 and the new cycle starts all over again.

So what will happen? I’ll explore that later…

Two notes:

1. The proper use of the word Maya: Evidently, they are the Maya, it is the Maya calendar, and they speak Mayan. (See comment #2)
2. I apologize for the sporadic posting lately. I could make several excuses, but that is all that they would be.

December 5, 2007

That 70’s Show

Filed under: Not Politics, Outrage Fatigue — t4toby @ 11:32 am

The late 70’s, early 80’s were my crucial formative years. In honor of that, here’s a bunch of crap that has nothing to do with our mess of a government:


Notice the street? What did you expect?


I’m not really sure what is going on here.


No comment.


Heh, indeed.

I get a lot of my ridiculous pictures from Eat Liver.  Check out his great vintage ads and assorted weird stuff.

November 21, 2007

Strap-ya World

Filed under: Diversions, Not Politics — t4toby @ 10:33 am

I am certain that dwelling on the madness warps my brain. So let’s talk Japan. Specifically, Japanese fads.

Evidently, cell phone charms are all the rage in Japan. So naturally, being Japan, they take it to another level:


Wait, what?

Wow, Kewpie is tied up with a cell phone strap string! It’s strange that Kewpie still smiles… He / She likes to be bondaged??

Now that is some fucked up shit right there! Pills? Syringes? Fire? And what is that dude doing under the table!?!

But here’s something that isn’t quite as painful to mull over. Hermetically sealed Plant Cell Phone Charms:

I’m guessing that something in there reacts with oxygen to make CO2. So from almost criminally perverse to pointlessly brilliant. That’s Japan for ya…

November 13, 2007

Monkey Attack!

Filed under: Monkey Problem, New Dehli, Not Politics — t4toby @ 10:34 am

Looks like things are going awry in New Dehli:

…weeks after the Indian capital’s deputy mayor toppled to his death fighting off a pack of monkeys…

Wait. What?

…the animals are back on the attack, sparking fresh concerns about the simian menace.

This is the capital of India, a country with more that 1.1 billion people.

Along with an estimated 35,000 sacred cows and buffaloes that roam free in the capital, marauding monkeys have been longstanding pests.

Now that is some wacky crap right there.
So there shouldn’t be any problems with animals roaming free in a city of well over 15 million, right?

Trouble boiled over in late October when the city’s deputy mayor, Sawinder Singh Bajwa, 52, fell to his death driving away monkeys from his home.

He was on his balcony reading a newspaper when four monkeys appeared, his family said. As he waved a stick to scare them away, he tumbled over the edge and died in hospital from head injuries.

So I guess its up to the cops to take care of this mess?

As police we’re not experts in dealing with monkeys. We can deal with mad bulls but monkeys are more difficult

Wrong again!

So evidently, this:


Is easier to handle than this:



We’re trying to catch them but the difficulties are a shortage of monkey catchers…

I guess they used their budget up on bull wranglers.

September 28, 2007

Stan Lee = Prophet

Filed under: Chernobyl, Gamma Rays, Not Politics, Science, Slime — t4toby @ 2:38 pm


Scientists have discovered fungus growing in the reactor at Chernobyl.

h/t Doug’s Darkworld via Some Guy

The effin’ slime lives on Gamma Rays!

Seems this slime grows at tremendous rates when bathed with radiation rates 500 times the normal background level.

The fungus uses melanin, just like the component of your skin that causes you to become tan. The melanin works like chlorophyll, except instead of sunlight, it uses ionizing radiation to manufacture energy.

This brings up the idea that our skin may produce energy from environmental radiation. They also are thinking of ways to use these properties to produce food in space for long distance journeys.

I’m thinking about post-nuclear holocaust Earth where a sentient race of slime people rule the land.

Oh, damn, someone beat me to it…