Donkey Punch

January 31, 2008

Absurdity Ad Infinitum

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God hates fags! Love Gods Way!

Donnie Davies is a sad individual.

However, his list of gay bands, or Bands to Watch Out For, is pure Comedy Gold.

A few choice morsels:

  • Tech N9ne
  • Ghostface Killah
  • Eagles of Death Metal
  • Metallica
  • Jay-Z
  • WTF??

    And then there are the bizarre:

  • Twisted Sister (jj) what do you mean, j j ?!?
  • Marilyn Manson (dark gay) Wait, I thought God hated fags. How is a dark fag any worse?
  • George Michael (texan) Who knew being Texan made you extra gay?
  • Ted Nugent (loincloth) …?
  • The Cure (makeup) Well, duh, makeup?
  • Britney Spears (kissed Madonna) Thanks for clearing that one up, Donnie!
  • NoFx (gay punk) just in case you didn’t know what kind of music NoFX is…
  • And then, well:

  • Elton John(really gay) What tipped you off? The trailer full of shoes?and finally:
  • Morrissey(?questionable?) Metallica is gay, but Morrisey’s questionable? Dude…
  • And just who is this arbiter of all that is Good and Manly?
    effinddsm.jpg

    What?
    effinddzoom.jpg

    That’s what I thought.

    January 25, 2008

    Suck it in, Baby!

    Filed under: assholes, Gay, No Class, Not Funny, Politics, Roger Stone — t4toby @ 1:50 pm

    stone_towel.jpg

    I’ve made a friend.

    Yesterday, in a fit of, well, a fit, I penned these words:

    I seriously want to kick this guys ass. That is not hyperbole. I want to sneak up on him and jump him in, gang style. And I’m not even a Hillary supporter.

    I know, I know, how juvenile could I be? But look what I found lying in my comments section this morning:

    #2

    Try it, I never met a candy ass liberal who’s ass I couldn’t kick.

    Bring it on- just tell them where to pick up your body

    Roger Stone

    Comment by Roger Stone — January 24, 2008 @ 9:00 pm | Edit This

    The comment info/whois was inconclusive, but the tone seems to fit this assclown’s modus operandi. So I thought I’d find out a little more about my new BFF Roger Stone.

    Roger Stone started as a political operative for Richard Nixon at age 19. He is widely regarded as the youngest of the Watergate ‘tricksters’. (Way to hit the ground running, dogg!)

    From the Weekly Standard article entitled Roger Stone, Political Animal:

    He has dabbled in at least eight presidential campaigns, everything from working for Nixon’s Committee To Reelect the President (CREEP) in 1972, to helping stage the infamous 2000 Brooks Brothers Riot in Miami, where angry Republicans in loud madras shorts and pinstriped suits helped shut down the Miami recount. (Stone was directing traffic by walkie-talkie from a nearby van.)

    The hits just keep coming! Seems he’s always been quite the joker when it come to acronyms.

    He was also caught up in a scandal involving a swingers site, his wife, and a request for athletic men. As far as I’m concerned, that is his business, but I did glean the lead off picture of this post from that tawdry affair.

    Then there’s the tat of Nixon:
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    I know, I know. Once you see something, it can’t be unseen. I’m sorry.

    Putting aside the obvious homo erotic implications of putting a man’s face between your shoulder blades…Nixon? I’ll bet he’s a hit at Leather Night Wednesdays.

    Politics is an ugly game. Roger Stone is the face of modern American politics.

    January 24, 2008

    Oh no, he di’int!

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    Via TPM Muckraker:

    A couple of days ago, a group called Citizens United Not Timid filed papers with the IRS as a “527” organization.

    Wha..wha..WHAT?!? This is an Onion article, right? Total parody? As my boyz from Germany say:

    Sadly, No!

    Roger Stone had signed on as the group’s assistant treasurer…In addition to this website being blast-emailed to hundreds of thousands of addresses…Stone is counting on T-shirt sales to further serve as “billboard education.” He figures the whole thing will end up taking on a viral nature, thanks to the yuks factor…

    Yuk is right. This is beyond the pale.

    I toss around curse words like they are going out of style, but come on! This shit’s like school in MLK Day.

    No Class.

    And who is this Roger Stone?

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    Do I really need to say anything? Yes, that tatoo is real. No, I’m not kidding.

    Stone wants Democrats to know that “if Hillary is the nominee, a hard 527 rain is going to fall”.

    I seriously want to kick this guys ass. That is not hyperbole. I want to sneak up on him and jump him in, gang style. And I’m not even a Hillary supporter.
    There is something seriously wrong in this country.

    October 31, 2007

    Boo!

    Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney, Happy Halloween, No Class — t4toby @ 9:26 am

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    October 22, 2007

    Your Tax Dollars at Work.

    Filed under: Abdallah Higazy, FBI, No Class, Outrage Fatigue, Politics, terror, Torture — t4toby @ 1:58 pm

    FBI mistakenly picks dude up.

    FBI coerces confession out of said dude by threatening to expose his family to Egypt’s secret police.

    Dude confesses.

    Reason dude was picked up in the first place turns out to be false.

    Dude is let go.

    Dude sues the FBI.

    Appeals Court sez: Dude, you can totally sue them.

    Court publishes decision.

    Website sez: WTF? How is it okay for the FBI to coerce?

    Minutes later, Federal Court posting disappears.

    Website asked to take down its .pdf of the decision.

    Website’s all like, “No.”

    Redacted version of decision is posted by the Feds.

    I tip my hat to Steve Bergstein.

    The intertoobz win.

    Well, we didn’t win anything, but the moral victory is almost there.

    Fuck!

    October 11, 2007

    Going Republican. (Updated)

    Tom Tomorrow is on of my favorite comedians. He consistently nails the political scene with his stylized cartoons. He and Lloyd Dangle just seem to ride on top of the wave.

    Tom wrote today about Pattern Recognition:

    I remember this quite clearly — [when] the phrase “going postal” entered the lexicon. You read about one postal worker going on a gun rampage, and then another, and then yet another — and then suddenly it seemed to click for everyone, that there was a distinct pattern emerging, that these weren’t simply troubling isolated incidents but rather a symptom of some larger problem (i.e. the soulless monotony of the job).

    You may see where he’s going with this.

    We’re clearly at that pattern recognition moment now, the moment at which it becomes obvious to everyone that there’s more going on here, that some not insignificant percentage of sanctimonious moralizers are in fact leading personal lives at odds with their public pronouncements.

    I’m just not sure what the phrase should be in this instance. “Going Republican”?

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    He then goes into a charming little anecdote about Klutzo the Clown. Simply charming.

    Update:

    The Smoking Gun has a video clip of the Klown in Kwestion.  CREEPY!!!1!

    September 24, 2007

    Like School on Saturday.

    Filed under: Abendinajad, Ahmadinejad, GWOT, Iran, No Class, Politics, Progosphere, war — t4toby @ 3:32 pm

    Fat Albert
    No Class.

    The frat boys have really taken over the country.

    Follow that link to see the ridiculous CBS interview of Mahmoud A.

    Some gems:

    Sir, what were you thinking? The World Trade Center site is the most sensitive place in the American heart, and you must have known that visiting there would be insulting to many, many Americans.

    and

    Mr. President, you say that the two nations are very close to one another, but it is an established fact now that Iranian bombs and Iranian know-how are killing Americans in Iraq. You have American blood on your hands. Why?

    and

    Mr. President, you must have rejoiced more than anyone when Saddam Hussein fell. You owe President Bush. This is one of the best things that’s ever happened to your country.

    This response should have sufficed as an answer to every question this self-righteous asshat asked:

    AHMADINEJAD: Are you an American politician? Am I to look at you as an American politician or a reporter?

    So you’d think that the president of a major university would treat a visiting head of state with some dignity? Think again.

    Mr. Bollinger asked Mr. Ahmadinejad: “Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator, and so I ask you, and so I ask you, why have women, members of the Baha’i faith, homosexuals and so many of our academic colleagues become targets of persecution in your country?”

    h/t Sewell Chan


    So the once proud victor of World War Two, the mighty country that stared down the Soviet Union in the Cold War, the beacon of liberty and freedom, is now reduced to taking petty shots at some two-bit crack pot?

    What does this say about are country? If you ask me, I’d say it speaks volumes about how far the public discourse has fallen in the last ten to twenty years.  Seriously, it is like the whole county is now an episode of Jackass.

    I think the most striking thing about Abendinajad is how closely his rhetoric mirrors Cheney’s. They are both war monger assholes salivating at the mouth thinking about the orgasmic release of sending people to die over petty politics.

    So am I defending President A? No, but I am defending the need for a grown-up diplomatic discourse. Because this shit is like school during summer…

    (I intentionally spelled his name differently in this post. It seems that no one in the MSM can seem to agree just what this dood’s name is…)