Donkey Punch

November 19, 2008

Say it isn’t so, Biggus Dickus!

Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 11:19 am

cheney_pancake

I’ll bet you thought I was finally over my man-crush on the Big Dick.  Not true.

Imagine my surprise when today this headline pops up:

US Vice President Cheney indicted by Texas grand jury

Really? Indicted? Texas? I’m grabbing some popcorn.

A local Texas grand jury has indicted Vice President Cheney and former US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on charges connected to alleged abuse of inmates in a private prison system…

To the undisclosed location!

Cheney is charged with engaging in an organized criminal activity related to the vice president’s investment in the Vanguard Group, which holds financial interests in the private prison companies running the federal detention centers.

Cheney? Organized Crime? You’re shittin’ me, right?

It charged that Cheney had a conflict of interest and was responsible for “at least misdemeanor assaults” on detainees.

At least.

We all know that Bush the Lesser is going to pardon everyone for everything come January. But it’s nice to see some people actually striving for justice.

(Pancake image courtesy of Dan Lacey.)

March 24, 2008

A Case Study

Filed under: Abu Ghraib, Dick Cheney, Fail, GWOT, impeach, Politics, War on Drugs, War on Terror — t4toby @ 1:45 pm

drugmoney001_sm.jpg

From the Victorville, CA Daily Press:

With candy sales banned on school campuses, sugar pushers are the latest trend at local schools.

Where have I heard about this kind of thing before?

“It’s created a little underground economy, with businessmen selling everything from a pack of skittles to an energy drink.”

So on one hand in this country, we seek to control the base impulses of our fellow Americans. On the other hand, we have this infinite faith that capitalism is the solution to all problems. It certainly solves problems involving supply and demand.

This has become a lucrative business… and those kids are walking around campus with upwards of $40 in their pockets and disrupting class to make a sale.

I find it most funny that it often seems that the people who want to control our behavior so much (Conservative Christians) are political allies with the Free Market cheerleaders. Strange bedfellows, indeed.

Our War in Iraq is a complete travesty. It is like some think-tank ass hat decided, “Hey, the War on Drugs is going so well, maybe we should have a war on some kind of warfare tactic. Let’s see…War on Attacking the Flank? Too wordy. War on Salting the Earth? Too outdated. War on Terror! Perfect!”

Terrorism is a tactic that is part of asymetrical warfare, to be defined by the side having the upper hand. So when George Washington rebelled, he was a Terrorist to the British, but a hero to the Americans. When an Imperial power declares war on a tactic that it gets to determine…well, you get what you get.

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Both wars are ridiculous on their face. War on Drugs Except the Kind That Have High Paid Lobbyists is more like it. The War on Terror or Anything Darkies Do That We Don’t Like is a tiny bit more accurate.

Both are criminal wastes of our time, energy, and money.

October 31, 2007

Boo!

Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney, Happy Halloween, No Class — t4toby @ 9:26 am

dickolantern.jpg

October 22, 2007

Bomb, bomb, bomb, Bomb,bomb Iran…(updated)

Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney, Fareed Zakaria, Iran, war — t4toby @ 1:05 pm

Israel attacks Iran. Iran fights back. The US levels much of Iran’s infrastructure. At least of generation of bona fide terrorists are spawned.

Lookie what the Big Dickhead had to say over the weekend.

Our government is so fucked up. If we attack Iran, look for the draft. That is their ace in the hole:

“But we have to have a draft to fight off the Muslim Hordes!”

Never mind the fact that with each new Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, we create untold new enemies. It is almost like they want to incubate terrorists so the military industrial machine had fodder for its unlimited appetites.

Update: Fareed Zakaria breaks it down:

Iran has an economy the size of Finland’s and an annual defense budget of around $4.8 billion. It has not invaded a country since the late 18th century. The United States has a GDP that is 68 times larger and defense expenditures that are 110 times greater. Israel and every Arab country (except Syria and Iraq) are quietly or actively allied against Iran.

September 19, 2007

Where’s the Dick?

Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney, Hypocrisy, Politics, war — t4toby @ 3:59 pm

Big Dick!!!1!

Am I the only one who has noticed how quiet the Big Dick has been recently? His belligerent bellicosity has been conspicuously absent from the recent General and Pony show.

Maybe the Heartless One has died because the thing that they put in place of his heart could only run for so long on the black oil that courses through his veins.

Or maybe he’s having a nonstop masturbatory orgy called ‘Planning for War with Iran’. Or maybe he’s just eating puppies. You know, Rumsfeld never did forgive him for winning the wiener.

July 13, 2007

In my estimation…

Filed under: angry cat, Big Dick, Dick Cheney, impeach, kitty — t4toby @ 1:48 pm

emocheney.jpg

So I’m an estimator. The nature of my work seems to be all or nothing. So lately I’ve been really busy and unable to post much. I apologize to my 2-3 readers for not bringing you daily blogs. When this work load passes, I’ll be better. I promise.

If you haven’t noticed, I’m somewhat fascinated by the Big Dick. I don’t know what it is, I’m just smitten. Maybe its his range. He’s something, alright.

Update: I didn’t put this genius piece of art together. In fact, I forgot where I got it (Nice journalistic integrity, huh?) It does have a watermark, however. I think that clears me of any legal jujus, right?

Update II: The genius in question!!!1!

Update III: The kitty in question:

meowasshole.jpg

This fine photo comes from My Cat Hates You via
Scout.