From the Great Orange Satan:
An Open Letter to the 111th Congress
Let’s get this out of the way right now: I think you’re gonna suck balls.
I base my opinion on your performance during the previous administration, and I see no reason to change my mind just because y’all have a bunch of new members and America has a new president.
It’s all so predictable. With virtually no exceptions, Republican members will continue insisting that the policies of shitting on the little guy are the only ones that they’ll support, and Democratic members will continue to give these idiots serious thought and consideration in the futile hope that we can all just get along. In essence, you’ll continue governing as if we are a “center-right” nation, which we most assuredly are not.
You’ll continue to act quickly on things that should be acted on slowly, and you’ll act slowly on things that should be acted on quickly. You’ll insult our intelligence, waste our money (or, rather, waste our grandchildren’s money since you spent ours and our kids’ long ago), give plenty of face time to the rich and powerful, and collapse at the mere hint of a filibuster threat.
I know you want me to believe you’ll do things differently, but that’s like Lucy promising Charlie Brown that she won’t pull the football away—for real this time. Uh huh. George Bush may be the worst president ever, but at least he was right when he stammered, “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me…can’t get fooled again.”
I know I’m being a tad negative, but can you blame me? You authorized the Iraq war, legalized warrantless wiretapping to make Bush’s illegal wiretapping retroactively legal (that was a neat backflip), agreed that habeas corpus was disposable, wasted floor time condemning MoveOn.org for exercising its freedom of speech, took impeachment off the table, failed to notice the collapsing economy, and wouldn’t even allow the government to use its power to negotiate lower drug prices. You failed us and failed us and failed us. Collectively you’re a bunch of irresponsible opportunistic whiny ether-sniffing assface sissypants bedwetters until such time that you prove through your deeds that you’re not.
I’ll close on a happy note in the interest of bipartisanship: nice shoes.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.