Donkey Punch

December 17, 2008

Meet the Automatic Complaint Generator

Filed under: Politics, Progosphere — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 1:46 pm

obama-and-rick-warren

So Obama is having noted evangelical preacher and Proposition 8 supporter Rick Warren to give his inaugural invocation. And the right thought he was the most liberal senator.

In honor of this, and because I consider my self progressive and have not complained about Obama yet, I will see what the old complaint generator gives me:

My complaint about Pres. Obama

Although Pres. Obama wants nothing less than to make mountains out of molehills, I want this letter to speak a language of reconciliation, not retaliation. For the sake of review, we must help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by him and his compeers. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even Dadaism. You must be the one to deal with him appropriately. And you must inform your fellow man that my purpose here is not to encourage the ethos of exchange value over use value. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that in a tacit concession of defeat, Pres. Obama is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what his cuckoo canards have failed at.

By framing the question in this way we see that if anything will free us from the shackles of Pres. Obama’s disorderly expositions, it’s knowledge of the world as it really is. It’s knowledge that he believes that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. Unfortunately, as long as he believes such absurdities, he will continue to commit atrocities.

As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Pres. Obama’s sympathizers don’t really care that simplism was founded on a world system of enslavement and land theft. But you knew that already. So let me add that his cop-outs are not witty satire, as Pres. Obama would have you believe. They’re simply the shrewish, disingenuous ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he’s mocking. Even as I write those words I can feel Pres. Obama cringe. That’s okay. Cringe. I don’t care because you might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us speak up and speak out against him. No one has located the document in which Pres. Obama said that. No one has identified when or where Pres. Obama said that. That’s because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Pres. Obama’s idiotic claim that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician’s magic hat is just that, an idiotic claim. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me help you reflect and reexamine your views on Pres. Obama, and together we’ll take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on his sententious, recalcitrant subliminal psywar campaigns. We’ll shout back at his propaganda. I’m counting on you. Thanks for reading this.

Go try it yourself. I find it especially fun when playing with trolls.

Oh, and I can’t believe the leader of the most powerful military-industrial complex in the world has not upheld my steadfast progressive values. Really. Who could have seen this coming?

h/t Righteous Bubba

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6 Comments »

  1. I like your blog. Would you consider exchanging blogroll links?

    I don’t care whether blogroll links and comments agree or disagree as long as they are witty or intelligent, as your blog is. The important thing is that we have intelligent discussions to improve America.

    Our future is what we make it. Idiot Congress and elected officials have proven by example that if we do nothing, we have no future. The first step is never to vote for the person currently in office.

    It helps to have some entertainment, satire and laughs along the journey.

    My blog address is http://franklynchusa.wordpress.com

    If I put a second url in this comment spam filters block me, so if you are interested, google

    frank lynch for president

    and add google’s first url to your blogroll if you really want to improve the future of America a lot

    Thanks

    Comment by franklynchusa — December 17, 2008 @ 2:30 pm

  2. first, love the generator.

    Second, it always amazes me that disenfranchised people, once in power set to work disenfranchising others.

    I mean the liberal left has been out in the cold for years, and now they have Obama, but when he makes the slightest insignificant gesture to the opposition they get crazy.

    We will never all get along. we are doomed.. 🙂

    Comment by Roland Charlemagne — December 18, 2008 @ 1:27 pm

  3. i don’t pretend to speak for the “liberal left,” but as a californian who fought hard against proposition 8 and who has been part of quite a few tearful/fearful/hurt/angry/etc. conversations post-november 4, i agree with the people who see rick warren’s invitation to be a key part of the inauguration as a big deal.

    i respect and affirm the notion of reaching out to people and building bridges, and i know that obama needs to do that to get anything done. i also know that obama is not the radical i wish he was.

    but rick warren has recently and publicly compared same-sex marriage to pedophilia, incest, and bestiality. as such, it surprises me that it surprises others that queer folks and their allies are upset about him.

    Comment by sarah — December 19, 2008 @ 8:45 pm

  4. I agree, but am not surprised that Obama’s staying in the center. He’s a politician.

    Comment by t4toby — December 23, 2008 @ 11:20 am

  5. i agree

    Comment by padmini — December 25, 2008 @ 6:18 pm

  6. Good site,, I will come back soon…

    Comment by sattPaync — May 20, 2009 @ 12:45 pm


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