Donkey Punch

September 30, 2008

Internet W1N!!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — t4toby @ 10:33 am


From the comments section over at Sadly, No!

  1. Lonny Martello said,

    September 30, 2008 at 16:35

THE RANTOUL ILLINOS PRESS ONCE AGAIN SHOWS IT IS THE ONLY BRAVERY IN THE FACE OF THE MENNECE OF TEH FUCHING FERRETS. THEY ARE BRAKEING A STORY ABOUT HOW JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO STEEL THE BAILOUT MONEY AND ATTEMPT TO BRIBE TEH FUCHING FERRETS INTO NOT GANAWING HIS FACE OFF AND FOR THARE ASSISTANCE IN SEIZING THE IRANIAN EYELINER DEPOSITS. HU JINTAO AND ED MACMANN WERE SCHEDULED TO PRESENT A GIANT CHECK FOR 700 BILLION DOLLARS TO GEORGE BUSCH FOR THE BALEOUT. JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO APPEAR TO CLAIM CREDIT FOR FILLING OUT THE PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOSE SWEEPSTEAKS FORM THAT MADE THE BALEOUT HAPPEN. WHEN THE EVENT WAS OVER JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHECK AND SAY HE WAS GOING TO PUT IT IN HIS OFFICE FOR SAFE KEEPING. HE WOULD THEN DUCK OUT THE BACK DOOR AND INTO THE BED OF JOE LEIBERMENS EL CAMINO AND COVER HIMSELF WITH A SURPLUS FEMA TARP AND BE DRIVEN TO A SECRET MEATING WITH TEH FUCHING FERRETS. THE REAL SURPRISE WAS THE DOUBLE CROSS. TOD PALING WOULD HAVE KNOCKED LEIBERMEN AND MCCANE UNCONSCIES WITH AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF OLE GRAND DAD AND DRIVEN HIM TO THE CHEEPEST MOTEL IN RANTOUL ILLINOS WHERE TEH FUCHING FERRETS WERE WAITING. ON THE WAY HE WAS GOING TO PULL OFF THE INTERSTATE IN PESOTUM ILLINOS WHERE SARA PALING WOULD BE WAITING TO TAKE THE BALEOUT CHECK. SHE WOULD USE THE CHECK TO PAY OFF THE NOTE THE CHINEASE HAVE ON ALASKA AND DELCEAR INDEPENDANCE AND CROWN HERSELF QUEEN OF ALASKA. SHE WOULD THEN DON HER POLER BEAR PELT AND LEAD AN INVASION OF THE UNITED STATES BY RUNNING SCREEMING ACROSS THE BOARDER WITH THE SEVERED HEAD OF VLADIMER PUTIN IN ONE HAND AND A MOOSE FEMUR SPEAR IN THE OTHER. HER ARMY OF ZOMBY MOOSE WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HER AND SET UP AN ARMAGEDDAN LIKE BATTLE WITH THE HORDES OF TEH FUCHING FERRETS ON THE PLAINS OF NORTH DAKOTA. SINCE TEH FUCHING FERRETS WOULD BE ENRAGED AT BEING STIFFED OUT OF 700 BILLION DOLLARS ZOMBY MOOSE WOULD BE NO MATCH EVEN LEAD BY A SHRIEKING QUEEN OF ALASKA.

the funny thing is that if you Google Fuching Ferrets this is not the first time this hero of the digital age has popped up…

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4 Comments »

  1. ROFL!

    That’s what happens when you get an underfunded public school education. You don’t learn to write too good hehehehe.

    Still, as a dead out anti-repub internet rant it gets an A!

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

    Comment by ClapSo — October 1, 2008 @ 6:31 pm

  2. I think the misspellings and grammar mistakes are a feature, not a flaw.

    Comment by t4toby — October 2, 2008 @ 9:40 am

  3. Yeah, I got that, but still…

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

    Comment by ClapSo — October 2, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

  4. I like the imagery of Palin in her pelt shrieking across the border. Sheer genius that guy….

    Comment by grindchopblend — October 3, 2008 @ 10:46 am


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