Donkey Punch

September 30, 2008

Taste We Can Believe In.

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 3:53 pm

Not to be pedantic, but doesn’t that slogan have a dangling participle?

Internet W1N!!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — t4toby @ 10:33 am


From the comments section over at Sadly, No!

  1. Lonny Martello said,

    September 30, 2008 at 16:35

THE RANTOUL ILLINOS PRESS ONCE AGAIN SHOWS IT IS THE ONLY BRAVERY IN THE FACE OF THE MENNECE OF TEH FUCHING FERRETS. THEY ARE BRAKEING A STORY ABOUT HOW JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO STEEL THE BAILOUT MONEY AND ATTEMPT TO BRIBE TEH FUCHING FERRETS INTO NOT GANAWING HIS FACE OFF AND FOR THARE ASSISTANCE IN SEIZING THE IRANIAN EYELINER DEPOSITS. HU JINTAO AND ED MACMANN WERE SCHEDULED TO PRESENT A GIANT CHECK FOR 700 BILLION DOLLARS TO GEORGE BUSCH FOR THE BALEOUT. JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO APPEAR TO CLAIM CREDIT FOR FILLING OUT THE PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOSE SWEEPSTEAKS FORM THAT MADE THE BALEOUT HAPPEN. WHEN THE EVENT WAS OVER JOHN MCCANE WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHECK AND SAY HE WAS GOING TO PUT IT IN HIS OFFICE FOR SAFE KEEPING. HE WOULD THEN DUCK OUT THE BACK DOOR AND INTO THE BED OF JOE LEIBERMENS EL CAMINO AND COVER HIMSELF WITH A SURPLUS FEMA TARP AND BE DRIVEN TO A SECRET MEATING WITH TEH FUCHING FERRETS. THE REAL SURPRISE WAS THE DOUBLE CROSS. TOD PALING WOULD HAVE KNOCKED LEIBERMEN AND MCCANE UNCONSCIES WITH AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF OLE GRAND DAD AND DRIVEN HIM TO THE CHEEPEST MOTEL IN RANTOUL ILLINOS WHERE TEH FUCHING FERRETS WERE WAITING. ON THE WAY HE WAS GOING TO PULL OFF THE INTERSTATE IN PESOTUM ILLINOS WHERE SARA PALING WOULD BE WAITING TO TAKE THE BALEOUT CHECK. SHE WOULD USE THE CHECK TO PAY OFF THE NOTE THE CHINEASE HAVE ON ALASKA AND DELCEAR INDEPENDANCE AND CROWN HERSELF QUEEN OF ALASKA. SHE WOULD THEN DON HER POLER BEAR PELT AND LEAD AN INVASION OF THE UNITED STATES BY RUNNING SCREEMING ACROSS THE BOARDER WITH THE SEVERED HEAD OF VLADIMER PUTIN IN ONE HAND AND A MOOSE FEMUR SPEAR IN THE OTHER. HER ARMY OF ZOMBY MOOSE WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HER AND SET UP AN ARMAGEDDAN LIKE BATTLE WITH THE HORDES OF TEH FUCHING FERRETS ON THE PLAINS OF NORTH DAKOTA. SINCE TEH FUCHING FERRETS WOULD BE ENRAGED AT BEING STIFFED OUT OF 700 BILLION DOLLARS ZOMBY MOOSE WOULD BE NO MATCH EVEN LEAD BY A SHRIEKING QUEEN OF ALASKA.

the funny thing is that if you Google Fuching Ferrets this is not the first time this hero of the digital age has popped up…

September 25, 2008

Savage Mules

Filed under: Politics — Tags: , — t4toby @ 9:21 am

Dennis Perrin is on of my favorite bloggers.  He is also one of the best pundits in the country.  But because he keeps writing things like this, we don’t get to see him on CNBC or Fox News.  No one likes a know-it-all.  And people like having their ignorance pointed out even less.

Basically the book details how important the Democrats have been to maintaining the US imperial state for the last century.  It certainly makes this case, and helped to push me even further Left.  It shows how vulnerable we all are to the propaganda spewing forth from inside the beltway.

I guess the thing that was most challenging about this book was that it made me very apathetic towards our government, because it dispelled some of my most cherished Democratic myths (Jimmy Carter openly threatening other countries over oil?  I thought he was one of the good ones!).  If I can’t believe that one of the two parties represents my beliefs, where can I turn?  To the completely marginalized third parties?  Community organizing?  Screaming at the sky?

I recommend reading this book as a quick primer on just how hypocritical it is for the Democrats to present themselves as the Party of Peace.  It is well written and witty, so the pain is numbed, a little.

Buy it at Amazon, or at a subversive basement bookstore near you.

September 24, 2008

Alan Metzler for Treasury Secretary

Filed under: Politics — Tags: , — t4toby @ 11:52 am


About the bailout:

It’s a terrible idea. It’s undemocratic. It’s bad economic policy, and it’s bad social policy. And it has a very little chance of solving the problem in a meaningful way.

I’ve listened to governments tell me for 40 years that there was a crisis and the world was going to fall apart if we didn’t do this or that. But there have been a few cases where they weren’t able to do that…

Well, that’s what I think we need to do. We need to get the government’s hand out of this, and let’s see whether we can’t get a market solution.

Let the ‘Free Market’ correct itself? What a revolutionary idea!

And if they’re going to do something, then what they ought to do is make loans, which the financial institutions have to repay with interest. And if you think — that’s an idea which the Chileans have used in a bigger crisis than this for them in 1982, and it worked for them.

People paid back the loans. They weren’t allowed to pay dividends until they repaid the loans. They weren’t allowed to take bonuses until they repaid the loans. I think that’s the way — if we’re going to do this, then that’s the way we should do it.

-economist Alan Meltzer, PBS Newshour 9/23/2008

I’m a little disappointed he didn’t mention beheadings, but I think he’s on the right track.

September 23, 2008

CEO murdered by mob of sacked Indian workers

Filed under: Outrage Fatigue, Politics, protest — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 11:13 am

Lalit Kishore Choudhary, 47, the head of the Indian operations of Graziano Transmissioni, an Italian-headquartered manufacturer of car parts, died of severe head wounds on Monday afternoon after being attacked by scores of laid-off employees, police said.

Alright. I’m not saying there is any connection between this story and the fuinancial situation.

Nope, none at all. I would not want to encourage my fellow Americans to put CEO’s heads on spikes.

No sir. Not me.  Wouldn’t be prudent.

September 22, 2008

Unbelievable.

Sec. 8. Review.

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

We are going to give the financial sector 700 billion dollars. With no oversight. No recourse if it is spent unwisely. No ability to review the decisions of the Bush appointees that are in charge of this klustefux.

And this?:

Sec. 2. Purchases of Mortgage-Related Assets…

(b) Necessary Actions.–The Secretary is authorized to take such actions as the Secretary deems necessary to carry out the authorities in this Act, including, without limitation:…

(2) entering into contracts, including contracts for services authorized by section 3109 of title 5, United States Code, without regard to any other provision of law regarding public contracts;

Could someone kindly enlighten me to whatever the fuck this means? Evidently, the secretary can enter into any kind of contract that he wants to without any fear of any sort of oversight, whatsoever.

Seriously folks. When do we take to the streets?

I guess we can start by signing a petition? (God, that feels impotent.)

September 19, 2008

Shenanigans!!!1!

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 2:22 pm

Can I just say that some heads better goddamn roll for this financial crisis.

1-2 trillion dollars?  WTF‽‽‽

September 18, 2008

M.I.A.

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 4:07 pm

What I have been doing instead of blogging.

Yes.  I color.  All day long.

September 4, 2008

People Power

Filed under: Politics, Progosphere, protest — Tags: , , — t4toby @ 10:31 am

Rage Against the Machine shows how its done.

h/t Crooks & Liars

September 3, 2008

Not Much.

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 3:50 pm

I have been waterlogged by political coverage.  My levees of sense have been breached by non-stop stupid.  I am awash with the petty and venal.  I would shout, but the maelstrom of ignorance would drown me out.

So here’s a funny picture:

Slenderize, indeed.

h/t Eatliver