Donkey Punch

July 10, 2008

Despite All My Rage I’m Still Just a Rat…

From the G-8 Summit-

Fresh from blocking any real efforts to tackle climate change, our illustrious President acted more fratty than ever. Take it away, Telegraph

As President Bush was preparing to leave the final private meeting between the world leaders at the G-8 Summit, he dropped this gem:

“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”

He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.

George W. Bush is an asshole.

From the ‘Homer Simpson is Smarter than George W. Bush’ file-

George F. Will takes a break from being a smarmy libtard to extol the virtues of beer:

..the roughly simultaneous emergence of urban living and the manufacturing of alcohol set the stage for a survival-of-the-fittest sorting-out among the people who abandoned the hunter-gatherer lifestyle and, literally and figuratively speaking, went to town.

To avoid dangerous water, people had to drink large quantities of, say, beer. But to digest that beer, individuals needed a genetic advantage that not everyone had…This ability is controlled by …genes not evenly distributed to everyone. Those who lacked this trait could not, as the saying is, “hold their liquor.” So, many died early and childless, either of alcohol’s toxicity or from waterborne diseases.

The gene pools of human settlements became progressively dominated by the survivors — by those genetically disposed to, well, drink beer. “Most of the world’s population today,” Johnson writes, “is made up of descendants of those early beer drinkers, and we have largely inherited their genetic tolerance for alcohol.”

Well, break’s over. Time to veer off into Brave Libertarian/History Whitewasher territoy:

Johnson suggests, not unreasonably, that this explains why certain of the world’s population groups, such as Native Americans and Australian Aborigines, have had disproportionately high levels of alcoholism: These groups never endured the cruel culling of the genetically unfortunate that town dwellers endured. If so, the high alcoholism rates among Native Americans are not, or at least not entirely, ascribable to the humiliations and deprivations of the reservation system. Rather, the explanation is that not enough of their ancestors lived in towns.

Not unreasonably. See, we didn’t commit horrendous genocide by virtually exterminating the Injuns, it was their fault. They should have lived in towns and drank beer, like us good God-fearing Protestants…

Oh, well, at least there’s this line:

“Dying of cirrhosis of the liver in your forties was better than dying of dysentery in your twenties.”

Heh, indeed.

And finally, there is hope for married couples in their 40’s-

A wife gives her husband a unique 40th Birthday present: Sex every day for a year.

“One girlfriend said I must never, ever tell her husband what I was doing in case he got any ideas.”

Real nice.

She had been expecting whoops of delight and much punching of the ceiling when she told him of his gift…”to my horror, he declined the whole thing, saying that he didn’t want me to feel that I had to have sex with him – like it was some sort of duty…I was quite deflated.”

Whoops of delight and much punching of the ceiling? Is she married to this guy?

But I digress.

the couple don’t claim a 100 per cent success rate but say they had sex roughly 28 days a month for 12 months

Not bad. Not bad at all.

“When I started looking at this, though, I realized there was ample time for sex; we were just putting everything else first.”

Hmmm…

“I gained just as much from this as Brad and, if I’m honest, it was as much for me in the first place. I needed the boost in confidence it gave me.”

Sing it, sister!

“One of the saddest moments when I was thinking about my marriage was when I realized that sex with Brad was the only thing we shared that was unique to us.

It was what made us more than roommates, and yet I was denying our marriage that aspect.”

Amen.

Photo Cred – AP

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5 Comments »

  1. The man lacks even the appearance of basic intellectual curiosity. It’s appalling that he is our face to the world.

    Comment by Cangrejero — July 10, 2008 @ 1:47 pm

  2. So you’ve neatly tied it all up for us: I wonder if GWB swills beer while banging Laura 28 days out of the month. Can you imagine?

    Comment by grindchopblend — July 11, 2008 @ 11:43 am

  3. p.s. Excellent post.

    Comment by grindchopblend — July 11, 2008 @ 11:44 am

  4. Dammit, choppy. I never want to see the words ‘GWB’and ‘Banging’ ever again!

    Comment by t4toby — July 11, 2008 @ 11:48 am

  5. Nas of course is from the old school. He remember the days when rappers like 2Pac were not afraid to take a stand. Now he taking a stand of his own. I’m impressed. Jay-Z will never take a stand so don’t get your hopes up too high. He is more interested in money than politics. That’s why he’s the wealthiest rapper in America. Once you take a stand, like Nas has, you start losing sponsors in droves and it affects your bottom line.

    Comment by White Lotus — August 7, 2010 @ 4:06 pm


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