Donkey Punch

June 16, 2008

Civil Rights are Civil Rights

Filed under: Del Martin, Gay, Gay Marriage, Missy Graham, Phyllis Lyon, Politics, Queer — t4toby @ 2:49 pm

The first same-sex couple to marry legally in California, Lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, have been together for 55 years.

h/t Jill @ Feministe (this picture is when they were illegally wed by Gavin Newsom in 2004)

I sincerely believe that equal rights for all really means just that. Not “Equal Rights for Those Who Believe and Act in Ways That I am Comfortable With”.

What is homophobia about, anyway? It is about sex, pure and simple. How are a gay couple any different from any other couple? The slots and tabs. That is it.

I never really want to think about most of my neighbors having sex. I mean, come on. What else would I be able to base my hatred on the homos next door other than their bedtime proclivities? There are plenty of straight kinks that I would rather not assign to the neighbor I nod to every time I see them. Really. Who wants to know that the sweet overweight couple two doors down are into…well, you get the picture. So why would a gay couple next door be any different than a straight couple?

I believe that ‘conservatives’ have two main deficiencies. Projection and controlling their creative visualizations. With projection, they always want to project their beliefs on everyone else. Even more so if deep down they like what they are supposed to hate. Sort of a smokescreen effect, if you will. Yell loud enough about how you hate X and people will probably think you are the last candidate for engaging in X.

With creative visualization, well, we’re back to the neighbors. If all I saw was sex when I encountered other people, I would probably be driven half mad by the cavalcade of imagery. Especially if I had spent much of my life trying to convince myself that I was morally superior to everyone else all the while wondering deep down what it would be like to be forcibly taken by a large, sweaty black man. (I’m looking at you, Missy Graham)

I have pretty good control of my visualization. If they’re attractive to me, I might go there mentally. If not, ewww. No. So I really don’t care how the scene works for you. Even if it involves goats. If fact, I’m probably more inclined that you keep it to yourself, whatever your ‘orientation’. (Unless you are whispering it in my ear, that is. Full disclosure: I <em>heart</em> naughty.)

So back to the California. Good on them. Living up to our reputation of a nation of freedom is hard work, but we have to keep trying to ensure that all people, from white to black, rich to poor, totally straight to flamingly gay are treated Equally. As in the same. All the time.

-From the San Francisco Sentinel.

On the same subject, see my posts on Absurdity Ad Infinitum and The New Gay.



  1. In the end, it all comes down to projection. The sheer hatred so many conservatives have for homosexuals is merely a projection of the self-hatred they have for their own repressed thoughts.

    I mean, if you’re brought up thinking that homosexuality is evil, and you have leanings in that direction, and you’re the projecting type, all that self hatred has only one place to go.

    Comment by Cangrejero — June 17, 2008 @ 1:45 pm


    Comment by Missy Graham — August 18, 2008 @ 12:31 pm

  3. I’m sorry, Missy Graham, but this senator is not a homophobe, he is a closeted gay man that hates himself so much that he lashes out at anyone who is out and gay.

    I got the nickname from Down with Tyranny, a great progressive (although sometimes a little wonky) blog.

    Comment by t4toby — August 19, 2008 @ 8:35 am

  4. In other words, he has an irrational fear and or aversion to himself. Thanks for the info 😉

    Comment by MISSY GRAHAM — September 25, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

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