Donkey Punch

February 29, 2008

Killer Terrorist Vacuum Cleaners (Updated! with Proof Of the DFHIslamospiracy!!!1!)

Filed under: Killer Robots, Snark — t4toby @ 10:06 am

h/t Kargo X at the Great Orange Satan:

Terrorist groups may soon deploy killer robots against unsuspecting civilians, a British researcher warned Wednesday.

But I thought we only had to worry about swarthy suspicious looking foreigners.

“With the current prices of robot construction falling dramatically and the availability of ready-made components for the amateur market, it wouldn’t require a lot of skill to make autonomous robot weapons,”

This sounds terrible!

That may sound farfetched, but in fact iRobot, which makes the Roomba cleaning robots, also makes bomb-defusing and surveillance robots for the Pentagon…The company encourages reprogramming of the Roomba, and has even created a special version strictly for hackers and tinkerers.

Wait, I’m confused. Are we worried about hackers, tinkerers, or terrorists? Maybe the hackers and tinkerers are darkies?

Take it away, Kargo:

Ah ha! Islamovacuums! Tiny, frisbee-sized Islamovacuums on wheels that will follow us home if we leave Iraq, and suck up all our Freedomz™, which they hate!

Don’t laugh! If it can seek and destroy dust bunnies, it can establish a worldwide caliphate! Be warned! Beeeee waaaaaaaarned!

The face of 21st Century terrorism. Look closely. You never know when you may have to use this information :



Proof that the Terrorists and the DFH’s are in cahoots!:


Yep, you got that right. A robot vacuum cleaner designed to work using hydrogen cells while growing a plant.

The Horror!

February 28, 2008

Survey says?

Filed under: Meta, Survey — t4toby @ 3:21 pm


I’m trying to figure out this survey thing.

Do take the survey. I’ll have better questions after I figure it all out.

I know its kinda lame, but I’m exploring ways to develop a better dialog with my readers.


I’m not sure I really want the survey to be somewhere else, so I’m looking for one that displays on the page and offers instant results to the survey takers.  Anyone…Anyone….

February 25, 2008

Excellent? Someone must be on drugs.

Filed under: Excellent Blog Award, Huzzah! — t4toby @ 3:59 pm


My man Cangrejero over at The Midpoint has decided to cast pearls before swine and award me the Excellent Blogger Award.

So now it is my turn to award 10 blogs for being excellent. The only catch is that they must be individuals who I have not met in person.

Easier said that done.

Dennis Perrin is a shoe-in.

Dave Neiwert is one of the best. Brevity? Not so much.

DownwithTyranny is in there.

Tom Tomorrow is one of the best political cartoonists around, along with…

Lloyd Dangle. Troubletown also gets my side award for most frenetic home page.

Arthur Silber? Sometimes he’s too real for me, but certainly in there.

Jesus’s General. “An 11 on the scale of absolute manly gender.” Need I say more?

Army of Dude? Check.

Church of the FSM? In there simply for the imagination/humor involved.

I miss Clapso. Who else has telepathic crickets?

So there you go. I didn’t list any of the super big sites, because they are already insufferable enough as it is.

And just as soon as I figure out the trackback/pingback situation, they may even know I exist.

February 20, 2008

Framed In and Nailed Down

Filed under: Kirk Watson, Obama, Politics, Tweety, Wisconsin Primary — t4toby @ 12:32 pm

I have to admit I’m pulling for Barack Hussein Obama. I don’t think he is any kind of saint or savior. He is just my favorite of the available choices.

Last night after Obama’s speech there was a a perfect example for what not to do when questioned by a pundit. A teaching moment if you will. Kirk Watson, a Texas State Senator was on MSNBC directly following the speech, along with Representative Stephanie Tubbs (D-OH), who supported Hillary. Chris Matthews sets it up thusly:

“You are a big Barack supporter aren’t you senator?” “Yes, I am,” replied the pride of Austin. “Name some of his legislative accomplishments,” Matthews asked. Watson demurred.

“Sir, you have to give me his legislative accomplishments,” Matthews pressed. “You support him for president. You are on national television. Name his legislative accomplishments, sir. Can you name anything he has accomplished, SIR?” Watson stammered.

“List Barack Obama’s accomplishments as a senator now. NOW.” Mathews commanded. Watson couldn’t.

(h/t DeepModem Mom)

Tweety framed him in and nailed him. The poor guy looked like a deer in the headlights.

When a pundit asks you a question, you cannot allow said pundit to frame the situation. If there is one thing I have learned by begrudgingly paying attention to the Neo-Con criminals currently at the helm, it is that you must be in control of the message at all times.

The proper response to the above line of questioning could have been, “I’d need to look at some more specifics on Obama’s record, but I think the real issue here is Hillary’s Iraq stance, Hillary’s Kyl-Lieberman stance, Hillary’s choice of advisers.” Then you refuse to answer the question that plays into their framing, while refusing to back down from your frame.

The Rockridge Institute has some great information about framing. If you wonder how the nation has been so bamboozled, look no farther than Little Piggie Karl Rove and his thorough grasp of framing and its effect on public discourse. They refuse to discuss anything off message. They show tremendous discipline to their messages, no matter how contrite or bold faced. In short, the Neo-Cons have whuped the Progressives’ collective asses at the communication game.

Go check out George Lackoff’s article on Simple Framing. If we are serious about being progressive, we must beat the Right at its own game.


The Rove baby was a cute little piglet, huh?


February 19, 2008

Fun with Books

Filed under: Befouled, yo momma vocabulary builder — t4toby @ 10:02 pm

…With her mercurial moods, yo momma can also be described as having a temperament as fickle (constantly changing). The career of John Travolta, from Saturday Night Live stardom, to Perfect obscurity, to a Pulp Fiction resurgence is nothing if not mercurial. Mercurial has a second meaning: having traits attributed to Mercury (eloquence, shrewdness, swiftness), and can also mean ‘spirited’, so you can simultaneously insult and compliment someone with this word.

Go see why.

From The Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder by these three dudes.

February 18, 2008

Block Head

Filed under: cute, writer's block — t4toby @ 3:54 pm


I have been blocked lately.  I can’t seem to focus on work, blogging, or life in general.

Now I’m pretty ADHD as it is, so lack of focus is pretty commonplace in my world, but it has been exceptionally bad recently. Believe it or not, intrepid reader, I feel pangs of guilt for letting you down.

So please accept this picture of a guilty little puppy as my token to you for coming by this dusty shack even when the Open sign isn’t on. And feel free to comment at any time, on any post, for any reason. C’mon, don’t be shy…

February 15, 2008

I’m thinking of moving to New Zealand…

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 11:02 am


Although when it comes to brimstone and sulfur, I think Biggus Dickus should be first in line.

February 13, 2008

Happy VD!

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 9:53 am


There is a certain Chapelle-esque quality to this, no?

Never Question Authority (Updated)

Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 7:40 am


Update: Sadly, No! has a funny thread of possible 2008 Democratic slogans. Check out the comments.  I couldn’t agree more with the general sentiment.

February 4, 2008

Talking Points.

Filed under: Political Short Bus, Politics, Republican Logic — t4toby @ 9:35 am


My mom forwarded this to me:

(Hanx, Mom!)

To be a Republican you need to believe:

1. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a ‘we can’t find Bin Laden’ diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO’s and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
censoring the internet .

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host, then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting ‘Executive Privilege’ for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.) goes without saying.

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960’s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80’s is irrelevant.

17. We should always give our support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

The once proud Grand Old Party is now the party of the logically impaired. It’s like the Short Bus of Politics.