Donkey Punch

January 31, 2008

Absurdity Ad Infinitum


God hates fags! Love Gods Way!

Donnie Davies is a sad individual.

However, his list of gay bands, or Bands to Watch Out For, is pure Comedy Gold.

A few choice morsels:

  • Tech N9ne
  • Ghostface Killah
  • Eagles of Death Metal
  • Metallica
  • Jay-Z
  • WTF??

    And then there are the bizarre:

  • Twisted Sister (jj) what do you mean, j j ?!?
  • Marilyn Manson (dark gay) Wait, I thought God hated fags. How is a dark fag any worse?
  • George Michael (texan) Who knew being Texan made you extra gay?
  • Ted Nugent (loincloth) …?
  • The Cure (makeup) Well, duh, makeup?
  • Britney Spears (kissed Madonna) Thanks for clearing that one up, Donnie!
  • NoFx (gay punk) just in case you didn’t know what kind of music NoFX is…
  • And then, well:

  • Elton John(really gay) What tipped you off? The trailer full of shoes?and finally:
  • Morrissey(?questionable?) Metallica is gay, but Morrisey’s questionable? Dude…
  • And just who is this arbiter of all that is Good and Manly?


    That’s what I thought.

    January 30, 2008

    Dag-Nabbit! (Updated)

    Filed under: Bill Richardson, John Edwards, Kathleen Sebelius, Onion, Politics — t4toby @ 12:28 pm


    Well, Edwards is out. Too bad, I really liked what he had to say.

    Granted, the system would have probably thwarted him at every turn, but he really did seem to be about populism and the people. Sure, that may have been a cynical ploy to secure votes, but I’ll take that kind of cynicism over most other types.

    Update: Crooks & Liars has the transcript of Edward’s bowing out speech.

    My only hope is that we get him in as Attorney General. I’d really like to see Bill Richardson as the Secretary of State, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Kathleen Sebelius in as V.P. (I used to babysit for her, so I may be biased in this pick).

    Totally O/T, but The Onion has a totally crude, totally hilarious message from Jimmy Carter:

    I Got What America Needs Right Here

    (h/t to Some Guy)

    January 29, 2008

    Some Stimulus Facts

    Filed under: Food Stamps, Politics, Subsidies — t4toby @ 3:25 pm


    Via Principal Blackman


    …the study shows the fastest way to infuse money into the economy is through expanding the food-stamp program. For every dollar spent on that program $1.73 is generated throughout the economy…

    The report pointed to expanding unemployment benefits as the program that gets the next biggest bang for the buck… For every dollar spent here, the economy would see a return of $1.64

    …business incentives such as tax breaks for buying new equipment – so-called accelerated depreciation – would give the least bang for the buck and potentially provide the slowest infusion of money. A dollar spent there would generate only 33 cents in the economy because…it takes longer for businesses to implement any benefit received.

    What can I add to that?

    January 28, 2008

    Unity ’08

    This is what we are up against this election cycle.

    As we passionately bicker about who has the best plan for ‘change’, the Rethug strategists are polishing up a couple o’ turds to perpetuate the rule of the War Profiteering Party. The more we battle over the primaries, the more the core of uninformed voters will like this option, because these clowns are so ‘Serious’.

    I’m calling it Frumpy Old Men.

    If these guys win the election, who wants to move to BC and start a commune?


    January 25, 2008

    Suck it in, Baby!

    Filed under: assholes, Gay, No Class, Not Funny, Politics, Roger Stone — t4toby @ 1:50 pm


    I’ve made a friend.

    Yesterday, in a fit of, well, a fit, I penned these words:

    I seriously want to kick this guys ass. That is not hyperbole. I want to sneak up on him and jump him in, gang style. And I’m not even a Hillary supporter.

    I know, I know, how juvenile could I be? But look what I found lying in my comments section this morning:


    Try it, I never met a candy ass liberal who’s ass I couldn’t kick.

    Bring it on- just tell them where to pick up your body

    Roger Stone

    Comment by Roger Stone — January 24, 2008 @ 9:00 pm | Edit This

    The comment info/whois was inconclusive, but the tone seems to fit this assclown’s modus operandi. So I thought I’d find out a little more about my new BFF Roger Stone.

    Roger Stone started as a political operative for Richard Nixon at age 19. He is widely regarded as the youngest of the Watergate ‘tricksters’. (Way to hit the ground running, dogg!)

    From the Weekly Standard article entitled Roger Stone, Political Animal:

    He has dabbled in at least eight presidential campaigns, everything from working for Nixon’s Committee To Reelect the President (CREEP) in 1972, to helping stage the infamous 2000 Brooks Brothers Riot in Miami, where angry Republicans in loud madras shorts and pinstriped suits helped shut down the Miami recount. (Stone was directing traffic by walkie-talkie from a nearby van.)

    The hits just keep coming! Seems he’s always been quite the joker when it come to acronyms.

    He was also caught up in a scandal involving a swingers site, his wife, and a request for athletic men. As far as I’m concerned, that is his business, but I did glean the lead off picture of this post from that tawdry affair.

    Then there’s the tat of Nixon:
    I know, I know. Once you see something, it can’t be unseen. I’m sorry.

    Putting aside the obvious homo erotic implications of putting a man’s face between your shoulder blades…Nixon? I’ll bet he’s a hit at Leather Night Wednesdays.

    Politics is an ugly game. Roger Stone is the face of modern American politics.

    January 24, 2008

    Oh no, he di’int!

    Via TPM Muckraker:

    A couple of days ago, a group called Citizens United Not Timid filed papers with the IRS as a “527” organization.

    Wha..wha..WHAT?!? This is an Onion article, right? Total parody? As my boyz from Germany say:

    Sadly, No!

    Roger Stone had signed on as the group’s assistant treasurer…In addition to this website being blast-emailed to hundreds of thousands of addresses…Stone is counting on T-shirt sales to further serve as “billboard education.” He figures the whole thing will end up taking on a viral nature, thanks to the yuks factor…

    Yuk is right. This is beyond the pale.

    I toss around curse words like they are going out of style, but come on! This shit’s like school in MLK Day.

    No Class.

    And who is this Roger Stone?

    Do I really need to say anything? Yes, that tatoo is real. No, I’m not kidding.

    Stone wants Democrats to know that “if Hillary is the nominee, a hard 527 rain is going to fall”.

    I seriously want to kick this guys ass. That is not hyperbole. I want to sneak up on him and jump him in, gang style. And I’m not even a Hillary supporter.
    There is something seriously wrong in this country.

    January 23, 2008

    Worthless Democrats

    Filed under: Capitulation, Chris Dodd, Fuck!, Hold on Fisa Bill, Pelosi, Reid — t4toby @ 3:24 pm


    I have tried to start this post so many times and have just ended up too pissed off to actually go through with it.

    Harry Reid is a worthless piece of shit. Nancy Pelosi is a brain dead ninny.

    On the Pelosi side, she has said, since she was named Speaker of the House, that impeachment is off the table. What kind of crap is this? She is basically obstructing justice at this point. As some other much more prominent blog said today (I forgot the source), she deserves to be sitting at the defendants’ table at the War Crimes Proceedings.

    Robert Wexler has different ideas. He wants Cheney impeached. Go sign his petition.

    Harry Reid has allowed the obstructionist Republicans to avoid filibustering by requiring a 60 vote treshold to vote on legistlation. Until Chris Dodd decided that the FISA telecom immunity was filibuster worthy. Not only did he ignore the hold that Dodd put on the bill, now he is making Dodd actually filibuster.

    As far as I’m concerned, these two ‘leaders’ are the most worthless pieces of horse manure in our entire government. Sure the Republicans are crooked and vile, but it is in their nature. These are supposed to be the people carrying our nation forward. Unfortunately, I can’t tell them from a garden variety Bush administration official. You know its bad when I start grabbing images from wingnut sites that just seem perfect:


    Heh, indeedy.

    January 21, 2008

    Thank You Dr King.

    Filed under: Gratitude, MLK Jr. — t4toby @ 1:32 pm


    I would just like to say that I am very grateful for MLK Jr.’s contribution to this country, and to the human race in general. He demonstrated so much courage and strength. I would be honored to have one-tenth of his character.


    He was threatened, coerced, jailed, ostracized, and generally harassed on a day-to-day, hourly basis.

    And what did he get for his efforts?


    God Bless America.

    License to Grill

    Filed under: Exploding Unicorn, Humor — t4toby @ 1:31 pm

    I just wanted to plug this blog I came across. Funny Stuff.

    The Exploding Unicorn

    January 17, 2008

    An Inconvienient Truth (Updated)

    Filed under: An Inconvienient Truth, Jon Stewart, Scabs, Steven Colbert, WGA Strike — t4toby @ 2:38 pm




    (Update:Someone has an opinion on this. Check out the link from Fred in comments.

    Spanx, Fred!)

    I was thinking about Perrin’s Jimmy Kimmel slam, and something occurred to me. What are the heroes of all that is good and decent doing on TV right now?

    Solid Brass Balls? Speaking Truth to Power?

    Am I to believe that the combined influence of Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert is significantly less than David Letterman? What is going on here?

    I have always been a huge fan of Colbert’s. After the press club roasting, I really thought he would be the type of guy to buck the system.

    Letterman negotiated with his writers and got them back on board. Why are Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart crossing the picket line?

    I honestly would like your thoughts, dear reader. Why should these two guys get a pass?

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