Donkey Punch

December 28, 2007

Oooooh, A MOUSE!

Filed under: Baroness Bobo, black culture, Gay, transsexual — t4toby @ 1:31 pm

As we close in on New Years, I don’t have much. This Christmas was kinda weird. In honor of that, I give you another EatLiver nugget.


It’s fun to be gay. Heh, indeed.

December 24, 2007


Filed under: Chris Miller, Merry Christmas, War on Christmas — t4toby @ 11:01 am


I just wanted to post this Christmas card I received this year as proof positive that I am fully invested in the War on Christmas (WoX). The artist’s name is Chris Miller.

Merry Christmas.

December 21, 2007

Between Crusty Realism and Inherent Optimism

Filed under: Dennis Perrin, Greenwald, Politics — t4toby @ 12:49 pm


Dennis Perrin is one of my favorite bloggers. I discovered him about a year and a half ago, and have followed his blog daily ever since. He is dark, funny, and jaggedly witty.

One thing I value about his blog is how honest he is about how he feels about the world. He doesn’t sugar coat his ideas, and some times he’s just plain harsh. He is largely vilified by the progosphere because of his no holds barred take-down of Digby’s big coming out speech:

While listening to Digby drone on and on and on…I had a vision of me seizing the stage armed with an AK-47, and forcing those present to listen to my speech:

“Hello, friends. Some of you may know me, but if you don’t, you’ll know me after tonight. I don’t want to take up a lot of your precious time, but after listening to Digby’s 6th Grade civics lesson, I feel the need to add my thoughts. And thanks to a rather loose interpretation of the Second Amendment [waves weapon], I get to do just that. Thank you.”

You may see how that could offend some of the bloggers more prone to pearl clutching.

Well, he seems to have stepped on a big left toe again, this time relative to Chris Dodd’s recent FISA success.

Jesus, what little it takes to get the libloggers dancing on their keyboards. They’re like a perpetually jilted and ignored would-be lover who’ll leap at any hint of recognition, however cynical or fleeting. “I just knew he cared! I mean, he does care, right? He must care!”

That may sound a little rough to some, but I cannot disagree at all. Evidently this kind of talk is not allowed on Teh Left.

Enter Glenn Greenwald. He is like the Anti-Perrin. All reason and seriousness with absolutely no concept of brevity. He also happens to be another one of my favorite bloggers. Once he gets on an issue, he is tenacious like a pit bull. He is also a Liblogger Superhero.

So Dennis gets attacked for being defeatest for saying:

While it’s nice that FISA and retroactive immunity for the telecoms has been placed on hold for the moment, I wouldn’t hold your breath for some kind of systemic cleansing.

Which is another way of saying this:

In the Beltway world, anyone who aggressively objects to the Bush administration’s extremism, and especially its lawbreaking, is always guilty of (at least) one of two sins: they are either fringe, unSerious, overly earnest losers, or — as in the case with the accusations against Dodd here — simply pretending to be bothered by such things in order to rouse the rabble and exploit them for cynical political gain. Anyone who disrupts Beltway harmony in order to hold the Bush administration accountable — anyone who seems actually bothered by the rampant lawbreaking — is thus easily dismissed as an annoying radical or a self-promoting fraud.

And Greenwald quoting the Washington Post’s Paul Kane:

Eventually, in a month or two, it’s extremely likely the Senate will pass a FISA reauthorization with telecom immunity…

is just another way of saying this:

For Harry Reid and his cronies, it takes a hot issue off the front burner for the holidays, allowing them to focus on other ways to skull fuck the public.

I really think one of the problems with the Progressive side of things is unhealthy amounts of optimism. It is great to hope and wish for things, even necessary at times to stay sane, but that should not cloud your accurate determination of the state of the world at hand. And as much as we need the Greenwalds and the Jane Hamshers and the Markos Moulitsases, we need the Dennis Perrins if we expect to progress anywhere. Having people around to challenge our beliefs is an important function in a free world. Just don’t give that dude an AK-47.

(Full Disclosure: For reasons I’m still not too sure about, I exist on Perrin’s blogroll.)

December 19, 2007


Filed under: 2000 US Election, Politics, Ralph Nader, Sour Grapes — t4toby @ 9:53 am

Ralph Nader did not cost Al Gore the 2000 election.

Yes, I voted for Nader in 2000. Nothing drive a mainstream Dem more crazy than Ralph Nader. And few things point out the rank hypocrisy of the two party system like the whole 2000 election.

Let’s take a look at Florida’s election results:

So George Bush won with 2,912,790 votes. Al Gore lost with 2,912,253 votes. Add the three, carry the one… a difference of 537 votes.

Ralph Nader got 97,488 votes. So technically, I guess, he caused Al Gore to lose.


Harry Browne got 16,415 votes

Pat Buchanan got 17,484 votes

John Hagelin got 2,281 votes

Monica Moorehead* got 1,804 votes

Howard Phillips got 1,371 votes

Even the lowly James E. Harris Junior covered the spread with 562 vote.

I don’t recall hearing massive grumbling about the Socialist Workers Party costing Gore the election.

Inconvenient Truth? Sayeth Greg Pallast:

The U.S. Civil Rights Commission looked into the smelly pile of spoiled ballots and concluded that, of the 179,855 ballots invalidated by Florida officials, 53 percent were cast by black voters. In Florida, a black citizen was 10 times as likely to have a vote rejected as a white voter.

53% of 179,855 is 95,323 votes. So only 50.0056% of those ‘spoiled’ ballots needed to go Gore’s way in order to assure victory. What’s the chance that would have occurred?

In 2000, for every black who voted for Bush, 10 voted for Al Gore.


Another thing not discussed is the idea that if Nader had dropped out of the race, all of the votes he recieved would automatically have gone to Gore. This is patently false. I would have sat out of the 2000 race had Nader not been in there. I was disillusioned with politics and ready for a change. Voting to sustain the two party system seemed like a waste of time.

I am a big fan of Al Gore now. He seems to have found some passion, a calling. In 2000, I wasn’t even sure he had a heartbeat. The only people responsible for Gore’s loss in 2000 (besides the criminals who totally gamed the system) are Gore and his coterie of advisers.

This was all prompted by an excellent Independent Lens on PBS last night.

*Note to self: Consider last name change.

December 18, 2007

Girls Gone Wild x Hypocritical Smugness (Updated)

Filed under: Hypocrisy, Perfect College Sinners — t4toby @ 3:46 pm

Oh this is good.

A documentary about right wingers, plus a little bit of sex and drugs. Okay, a lot.

Watch these “better than thou” moral elitist students get exposed for the promiscuous, immoral hypocrites they really are.


Commenter M points out something that I suspected from the beginning: It’s a fake.

The only thing that makes me believe that it might not be a fake is how little they are charging for the video.  But the fact that they are charging at all tends to suggest otherwise.

If it isn’t a fake, I have a great idea to make some money…

December 17, 2007


Filed under: Big Dick, Impeach Cheney, Politics, Wexler — t4toby @ 12:01 pm

Pretty Spartan around here lately, huh?

For various reasons ( S.A.D.?) I have been neglecting my posting duties. And don’t get too excited, I don’t have much.

Do take a moment and check out this site. Robert Wexler is seriously looking into beginning impeachment proceeding for the Big Dick himself. this is significant because Wexler is not a member of the Progressive Caucus. He is a middle of the road sort of guy, who probably doesn’t check in with the Great Orange Satan everyday.

What are you still here for? GO AND SIGN THE PETITION already!!!1!!!eleventy1!

That is all.

December 11, 2007

S. 1959: Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007

Filed under: Politics, S. 1959 — t4toby @ 4:08 pm

Oh, goody! A bill to criminalize dissent!

We couldn’t see this coming!

Let’s wade in, shall we?

[A bill] To establish the National Commission on the Prevention of Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism, and for other purposes.

Other purposes, huh?

The term `violent radicalization’ means the process of adopting or promoting an extremist belief system for the purpose of facilitating ideologically based violence to advance political, religious, or social change.

Because social change is bad?

The term `homegrown terrorism’ means the use, planned use, or threatened use, of force or violence by a group or individual born, raised, or based and operating primarily within the United States or any possession of the United States to intimidate or coerce the United States government, the civilian population of the United States, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives.

Social objectives? Like Universal Healthcare, Union Rights, and Equal Protection Under the Law?

The term `ideologically based violence’ means the use, planned use, or threatened use of force or violence by a group or individual to promote the group or individual’s political, religious, or social beliefs.

Boy, social beliefs, social objectives, social change…Are you sure this isn’t a McCarthy-style anti-socialist law?

(3) The Internet has aided in facilitating violent radicalization, ideologically based violence, and the homegrown terrorism process in the United States by providing access to broad and constant streams of terrorist-related propaganda to United States citizens.

Broad and constant streams of terrorist related propaganda? Like Daily Kos, or Countdown?

The potential rise of self radicalized, unaffiliated terrorists domestically cannot be easily prevented through traditional Federal intelligence or law enforcement efforts, and requires the incorporation of State and local solutions.

Like concentration camps?

Individuals prone to violent radicalization, homegrown terrorism, and ideologically based violence span all races, ethnicities, and religious beliefs, and individuals should not be targeted based solely on race, ethnicity, or religion.

‘Cause you never know who is going to be Teh Liberul!

`(h) Powers of Commission-
The Commission may, to such extent and in such amounts as are provided in appropriation Acts, enter into contracts to enable the Commission to discharge its duties under this section.

Like Blackwater?

(k) Nonapplicability of Federal Advisory Committee Act- The Federal Advisory Committee Act (5 U.S.C. App.) shall not apply to the Commission.

Fair enough. What is the Federal Advisory Committee?

The Federal Advisory Committee Act was enacted in 1972 to ensure that advice by the various advisory committees formed over the years is objective and accessible to the public.


So we’ve established the commission, what’s next?

`(a) Establishment-

`(1) IN GENERAL- The Secretary shall establish or designate a university-based Center of Excellence for the Study of Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism in the United States (in this section referred to as the `Center’) using merit-review processes and procedures and other limitations established for designating university-based centers for homeland security under section 308(b)(2)(B).

university-based centers? Why they don’t just mention Regent University by name?

It shall be the purpose of the Center to study the social, criminal, political, psychological, and economic roots of violent radicalization and homegrown terrorism in the United States and methods that can be used by homeland security officials of Federal, State, local, and tribal governments to mitigate violent radicalization and homegrown terrorism.

Every good prison system needs a HQ, no?

`(a) In General- In carrying out this subtitle, the Secretary shall ensure that the efforts of the Department to prevent ideologically based violence and homegrown terrorism as described in this subtitle do not violate the constitutional rights, civil rights, and civil liberties of United States citizens and lawful permanent residents.

So we’re going to trust the politically appointed Secretary to police themselves. Brilliant!

Maybe I’m just paranoid these days, but when:

  • violent radicalization = social change
  • homegrown terrorism = social objectives
  • ideologically based violence = social beliefs

gets into a bill, I get a little worried.

December 6, 2007

A Little Help?

Filed under: Department of Homeland Security, Politics — t4toby @ 1:45 pm

Whoever does these really should watermark the picture.

I’m a huge fan, and would love to give credit where credit is due.

Anyone know the talented graphic artist who came up with these?




Lazy Post of Someone Else’s Brilliance.

Filed under: Humor, MST3000, No!, Sadly — t4toby @ 12:29 pm


This is from the comment thread over at Sadly, No!
Nigerian Spam get’s MST3000’d

From: Sodindo Malinga
Date: Wed Nov 13, 2002 8:54:38 PM US/Eastern



(MST’ed by MacTech)

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally.

(Joel) What? Spam, from a *STRANGER*, nahhh, that *never* happens….

I am Sodindo Malinga,

(Crow) You killed my father, prepare to die…
(Servo) i love that movie, wonder when mr. Malinga will be eaten by R.O.U.S.’s…

the first son of Tawanda Malinga, the most popular black farmer in Zimbabwe who was murdered in the land dispute in my country.

(Joel) [spooky voice] and i an spamming you from beyond the grave…

I got your contact through network online hence I decided to write you. Before the death of my father, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US8.6 million (Eight million, Six Hundred thousand United States dollars)

(Joel) [Dr. Evil] Eight MEEELLLIIIOON Dollars….
(Servo) after taxes, a grand total of .25¢…..

in one of the private security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe

(Crow) yet he didn’t forsee his own death, hmmmm……

this money was deposited in a box as gem stones to avoid much demurrage from security company.

(Crow) [dopey voice] me like shiny things…..

This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland

(Servo) because Switzerland was too far away….

This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr. Robert Mugabe introduced a new Land Act Reform, wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some few black farmers,

(Joel) in other words, everyone…

and this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society

(Servo) like me, eep epp eep, ack, ecky ecky p’tang…..

In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for which my father was one of the victims.

(Joel) it’s a ghost town now….

It is against this background that, I and my family fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and are currently staying in the Netherlands where we are seeking political asylum

(Joel) …and stylish wooden shoes….

and more so have decided to transfer my father’s money to a more reliable foreign account.

(Crow) You know of any?

since the law of Netherlands prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of Netherlands,

(Crow) as most refugees have no money to speak of anyway….

As the eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them.

(Joel) ….and the M.I.B., the Reverse Vampires, Major league baseball, the knights who say Ni, and the aliens who are spying on us with their sattelites….

I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money out of South Africa for fear of going through the same experience in future, both countries have similar political history.

(Joel) figures, all politicians are evil anyway….

As a businessman, I am Seeking for a partner who I have to entrust my Future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free.

(Crow) yeah, totally risk free …. yes it’s riskfree…..
(Servo) and if you believe this, i’ve got some alligator-free swampland in florida for sale, as well as the London Bridge…..

If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me, is to make an arrangements with the security company to clear the consignment (funds) from their affiliate office here in the Netherlands

(Joel) as well as clear out the funds in your account…

as i have already given directives for the consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa. But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to the consignment, And more importantly this money I intend to use for Investment.

(Joel) but…but…you said you were going to *share* it with me…..
(Servo) Joel, do you humans actually *believe* this sort of thing?….

I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country.

(Crow) or, thirdly, you can ignore this entire message and dump it in the trash, personally i reccomend this route…

Whichever the option you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 5% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction.
If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 10% of the money while the remaining 85% will be for my investment in your country.

Contact me with the above telephone number or my E-mail address while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction.

(Crow) which is why i’m sending it to *everyone*…


(Joel) but i didn’t sneeze….

Yours Faithfully,
Sodindo Malinga.
(Crow) You killed my father, prepare to die…

December 5, 2007

That 70’s Show

Filed under: Not Politics, Outrage Fatigue — t4toby @ 11:32 am

The late 70’s, early 80’s were my crucial formative years. In honor of that, here’s a bunch of crap that has nothing to do with our mess of a government:


Notice the street? What did you expect?


I’m not really sure what is going on here.


No comment.


Heh, indeed.

I get a lot of my ridiculous pictures from Eat Liver.  Check out his great vintage ads and assorted weird stuff.

Older Posts »