From the Durant Daily Democrat, ‘the Gateway to Lake Texoma’
A briefcase taped to a slide on a playground at Northwest Heights Elementary School as part of a harmless scavenger hunt was detonated Friday afternoon by a bomb squad robot.
A robot was used to approach the briefcase that was taped with duct tape to the top of the slide. The robot was equipped with a pole to prod at the briefcase.
The robot tipped over while prodding at the briefcase, and a few minutes later two OHP bomb squad technicians, wearing protective suits, walked out and uprighted the robot.
One of the technicians then pulled the briefcase down from the slide. The briefcase was placed on the ground and the technicians walked away.
Here is the state of America today. First off, how much did that robot cost? A quick search of the Googles indicates that these things are at least a quarter of a million dollars. Why is it so funny to me? I mean, the damn robot couldn’t even stay up (the robot tipped over while prodding at the briefcase), nor could it actually pick up the object (…pulled the briefcase down from the slide. The briefcase was placed on the ground and the technicians walked away). WTF? Bumbling robot aside, I know this reminds me of something…
Ahh, yes. The time that the Mooninites invaded Boston. You know, the time that 10 cities had light-brites spread around, and only Boston panicked? I was kinda pissed I never saw any of them here in Seattle. Anyways, I thought that incident captured the absurdity of the post 9/11 America perfectly. Who needs terrorists when we have so many pearl-clutchers and scaredy cats? Our leaders are hoping that we react this way. It is how it is supposed to be.
So here’s my challenge: Cringe less. Take deep breaths. Focus on the positive. AND STOP BEING FUCKING SCARED OF EVERYTHING THAT SEEMS SLIGHTLY OUT OF WHACK!!!1!
Too bad the people who really need to heed this advice will never visit the lowly pages of Donkey Punch. Too bad indeed.