Donkey Punch

September 28, 2007

Stan Lee = Prophet

Filed under: Chernobyl, Gamma Rays, Not Politics, Science, Slime — t4toby @ 2:38 pm


Scientists have discovered fungus growing in the reactor at Chernobyl.

h/t Doug’s Darkworld via Some Guy

The effin’ slime lives on Gamma Rays!

Seems this slime grows at tremendous rates when bathed with radiation rates 500 times the normal background level.

The fungus uses melanin, just like the component of your skin that causes you to become tan. The melanin works like chlorophyll, except instead of sunlight, it uses ionizing radiation to manufacture energy.

This brings up the idea that our skin may produce energy from environmental radiation. They also are thinking of ways to use these properties to produce food in space for long distance journeys.

I’m thinking about post-nuclear holocaust Earth where a sentient race of slime people rule the land.

Oh, damn, someone beat me to it…


September 27, 2007

Broken Arrow


On August 30, for the first time since 1968, nuclear warheads in combat position were carried by an American bomber.


a B-52H Stratofortress flew from Minot AFB in North Dakota to Barksdale AFB in Louisiana while carrying twelve cruise missiles. Either five or six of those missiles were armed with nuclear warheads. (h/t Sign of the Times)

Okay, something is real fudged up here.

Must be moon bat raving… (insert sounds of Googling) Uh-oh. These guys aren’t moonbats.

The B-52 was loaded with Advanced Cruise Missiles, part of a Defense Department effort to decommission 400 of the ACMs. But the nuclear warheads should have been removed at Minot before being transported to Barksdale, the officers said. The missiles were mounted onto the pylons of the bomber’s wings.

Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s not like anything ever goes wrong when flying nukes around.

…In May 1957 a nuclear weapon fell from the bomb bay of a B-36 near Albuquerque, New Mexico.
…In March 1958 a B-47 accidentally dropped a nuclear weapon near Florence, South Carolina.
…a B-52 carrying nuclear weapons exploded in mid-air.
…In March 1961 a B-52 with two nuclear weapons crashed near Yuba City, California.
…In January 1964 a B-52 carrying two nuclear weapons crashed near Cumberland, Maryland.
…In 1991 by Presidential order, nuclear weapons were removed from all aircraft. Bomber nuclear ground alerts, during which nuclear weapons are loaded onto bombers during test and training exercises, were halted. After that time, all nuclear weapons to be delivered by plane were permanently maintained in secure storage facilities.

h/t Chuck Simpson@Above Top Secret

Oh, well, all’s well that ends well, right?


It seems that six nuclear weapons disappeared from Minot, and five were discovered at Barksdale. So:

6 – 5 = 1

So where is the Sixth nuke?

In completely unrelated news, a mystery investor has placed a $4.5 billion ‘put’ option on the European Stock Market. A put is a bet that the market will significantly decrease in the time frame optioned. A put option has the nick name ‘Bin Laden trade‘, because it would take a 9/11 sized disaster to cause such a drop. Interestingly enough, similar put options were taken out against United and American Airlines just prior to 9/11. The time frame for this particular put option is until the end of September.

September 26, 2007

In which we take a break from reality…

We have come to the point in our society where we are really asking the important questions. We, as a species, have decided to tackle the most pressing issues. Take the question of perfect breasts, for example.

Evidently, Mallucci (to whom the article refers to as a ‘scientist’, with no substantive back-up) has…

thoroughly researched pictures of celebrity women to compile images of the best looking breasts

in an effort to…

help plastic surgeons create the perfect looking breasts when clients request some work done on their natural assets.

I do the same thing. On the internet. But I don’t go around calling myself “Doctor”.

Cut to the chase:

This is perfect

And these are “unnaturally round”

If you ask me, I think there’s more plastic than in a Barbie factory in those three pictures. I’d like to think that it would be inherent that ‘perfect’ = natural, but then again, I’m no ‘doctor’.

So why am I blogging about breasts instead of politics? Because I am so fucking tired of the democrats and their total lack of strategy and courage that I decided to write about something comforting, THAT’S WHY!!!1!!ELEVENTYHUNDRED!!

September 25, 2007


Filed under: Uncategorized — t4toby @ 1:32 pm

South Africa is so much cooler than Seattle. Where else can you have monkey gangs terrorizing the countryside?

Oh, and did you hear the one about the shaved pussy?

That’s all I got today, folks.  Enjoy your day.

September 24, 2007

Like School on Saturday.

Filed under: Abendinajad, Ahmadinejad, GWOT, Iran, No Class, Politics, Progosphere, war — t4toby @ 3:32 pm

Fat Albert
No Class.

The frat boys have really taken over the country.

Follow that link to see the ridiculous CBS interview of Mahmoud A.

Some gems:

Sir, what were you thinking? The World Trade Center site is the most sensitive place in the American heart, and you must have known that visiting there would be insulting to many, many Americans.


Mr. President, you say that the two nations are very close to one another, but it is an established fact now that Iranian bombs and Iranian know-how are killing Americans in Iraq. You have American blood on your hands. Why?


Mr. President, you must have rejoiced more than anyone when Saddam Hussein fell. You owe President Bush. This is one of the best things that’s ever happened to your country.

This response should have sufficed as an answer to every question this self-righteous asshat asked:

AHMADINEJAD: Are you an American politician? Am I to look at you as an American politician or a reporter?

So you’d think that the president of a major university would treat a visiting head of state with some dignity? Think again.

Mr. Bollinger asked Mr. Ahmadinejad: “Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator, and so I ask you, and so I ask you, why have women, members of the Baha’i faith, homosexuals and so many of our academic colleagues become targets of persecution in your country?”

h/t Sewell Chan

So the once proud victor of World War Two, the mighty country that stared down the Soviet Union in the Cold War, the beacon of liberty and freedom, is now reduced to taking petty shots at some two-bit crack pot?

What does this say about are country? If you ask me, I’d say it speaks volumes about how far the public discourse has fallen in the last ten to twenty years.  Seriously, it is like the whole county is now an episode of Jackass.

I think the most striking thing about Abendinajad is how closely his rhetoric mirrors Cheney’s. They are both war monger assholes salivating at the mouth thinking about the orgasmic release of sending people to die over petty politics.

So am I defending President A? No, but I am defending the need for a grown-up diplomatic discourse. Because this shit is like school during summer…

(I intentionally spelled his name differently in this post. It seems that no one in the MSM can seem to agree just what this dood’s name is…)

September 21, 2007

How Bad is the Iran Situation?

Filed under: 9/11, Ahmadinejad, Hypocrisy, Iran, Politics, Uncategorized, war — t4toby @ 2:26 pm

Pretty bad.

We are telling a member of the United Nations that he cannot visit the 9/11 memorial and lay a wreath to show his respect. I’m so embarassed.

Any grace and poise that this country ever had seems to have been completely destroyed by 9/11.

But how could we let Ahmadinejad pay his respects? Aren’t we bombing his country in a few weeks?

I found the Dem’s spine! (Updated)

Filed under: MoveOn, Politics, Progosphere, Progressive Party, protest, war — t4toby @ 2:08 pm

Its called

The new ad starts off:

Congressional Representation, or “Ass Kissing Little Chickenshits”

I’m not kidding. It’s set to run in the Sunday New York Times.

Congressional Dems? Take note. This is the way you push back.

Dood Abides over at Kos has the whole story.

Update: I regret to inform my readers that I am very gullible. Not wingnut gullible, but gullible none the less. I thought this was too good to be true. Apparently, it is.

But wait.

Boston’s at it again!

Filed under: GWOT, Politics, protest, terror — t4toby @ 1:56 pm

Well, well, well. Looks like another day, another circuit board, another Boston flip-out.

This time it involves a student from MIT, a circuit board, and and airport. In fact, the similarity to some recent events is quite striking.

Here’s the case in a nutshell. A college student arrived, via subway, at Boston’s Logan International Airport around 8 in the morning. She had on a black hooded sweatshirt and a circuit board which “had nine flashing lights” plus “Simpson had Play-Doh in her hands”.

So this girl approaches the information booth, lights a flashin’, to ask about an incoming flight. Then all hay breaks loose. A trooper was called, “joined by others with submachine guns”, and the heavy hand of justice is brought out.

“She was immediately told to stop, to raise her hands and not to make any movement, so we could observe all her movements to see if she was trying to trip any type of device…Had she not followed the protocol, we might have used deadly force.”

So this student with a harmless device around her neck, was one step away from being fully ventilated. Did I mention she was a shade of brown?

“She’s lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue.”

And I’m lucky I’m white.

I’m sure the first suicide bomber in the US will not walk up to an Airport information booth to ask about a particular flight with their bomb hanging out like a drunk homeless man with his fly open.

Probably won’t have a name tag that sez: “Allah be praised”

Probably will not show their ‘Terrorist’ credentials at the door.

But what do I know?

True, this may be construed as a bomb hoax.  But that’s just how the Mooninites would want it.

September 20, 2007

Sometimes, you just can’t say it better than someone else.(Updated)

Filed under: Hypocrisy, Outrage Fatigue, Politics, protest, Senate Failure — t4toby @ 8:58 am


Our esteemed president doing some kind of voodoo mind control dance on the senate.

Take it away, Kargo X:

Senator Jim Webb’s “dwell time” amendment failed yesterday by a vote of 56-44.

…the reason the Webb amendment failed even though it got 56 votes was that Senators agreed by unanimous consent that the amendment should have to get 60 votes to pass, even without a filibuster.

…the question here is not just why anyone would allow it, but why everyone did. A single Senator could have put a stop to this simply by saying, “I object” when the unanimous consent request was made.

…Everyone just politely agreed that 56-44 would be a losing vote for America’s sons and daughters wearing the uniform in Iraq and Afghanistan. And they did it on national television. And America yawned, hit the snooze button, and slept in.

…But hey, since those veto threats are pending, why not just agree to unanimous consent requests in both the House and the Senate that the appropriations bills will require a 2/3 vote to pass? Since they’re going to be vetoed, why not just spare poor President Bush the trouble and the wear and tear on his veto crayon, and agree up front that if a bill doesn’t pass with a veto-proof majority, it shouldn’t be considered passed at all?

…Because that’s the logical extension of what happened yesterday. And the truth is, it makes no less sense.

Go read the whole thing. Infuriating.

Sorry for the lazy cut and paste. I have no time today…


David Kurtz picks up where Kargo X left off:

Correct me if I’m wrong here. But by my calculation, more U.S. senators (72) voted today to condemn a newspaper ad attacking Gen. Petraeus than voted yesterday (56) to lengthen the time off troops get from the frontlines in Iraq, thereby reducing individual soldiers exposure to actual attacks. Am I missing something, or is that about right?

September 19, 2007

Where’s the Dick?

Filed under: Big Dick, Dick Cheney, Hypocrisy, Politics, war — t4toby @ 3:59 pm

Big Dick!!!1!

Am I the only one who has noticed how quiet the Big Dick has been recently? His belligerent bellicosity has been conspicuously absent from the recent General and Pony show.

Maybe the Heartless One has died because the thing that they put in place of his heart could only run for so long on the black oil that courses through his veins.

Or maybe he’s having a nonstop masturbatory orgy called ‘Planning for War with Iran’. Or maybe he’s just eating puppies. You know, Rumsfeld never did forgive him for winning the wiener.

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