My Candidate Sucks.

h/t Complex

Yes, you read that right. My candidate sucks. He’s a politician with the ambition to want to be President. That right there makes him possibly criminally insane and why I like the above take on Bogey Down Production’s Criminal Minded. He comes from Chicago, which may be the most politically corrupt city in America. He speaks in platitudes that are long on rhetoric and short on details. Once again for my slower readers, HE’S A POLITICIAN!!!

Hillary Clinton sucks too, for variations on the themes I stated above. SHE’S A POLITICIAN!!!

John McCain, on the other hand, is the definition of the Banality of Evil. He is a genuine threat to the free world, because unlike George ‘I Don’t Have a Fucking Clue’ Bush, McCain thinks he knows things. He Doesn’t. He knows just enough to be dangerous to all life on this planet.

So here’s the deal. I will vote for the Democratic candidate. Period. I hope you do the same.

When we beat McCain in November, it’s open season on anyone, (R) or (D). Until then, can we postpone the circular firing squad?

Who’s Your Daddy?

I know. I’m sorry.  Just be glad I have basic photo-cropping skillz.*

Did you know that Japan owns 34% of our Treasury Bonds, Bills and Notes?

And China owns almost 29%?

Using my stellar math skills, I’d say that between the two countries, they own 63% of our public debt.

Interestingly enough, Carribean Banking Centers (???) own 6% of the public debt.

If either of these two countries wanted to swamp our economy, they could. Easily. By selling off their bonds they could create a run on Treasury securities, which would destroy the already faltering dollar’s value.

So by going into huge debt to fight two wars, ostensibly to protect our interests, we have given the lynch pin of our economy to one of our biggest historical enemies (Japan) and the single greatest threat to our hegemony (China).

Who is in charge of foreign policy in this country? The effin’ Really Rottens?

*Remind me never to search Google Images for ‘leather daddy’ with the SafeSearch off.

On Jumping the Shark (Now Updated with More Shark Jumpiness! X2!!)

Let’s talk economics.

The rules of supply and demand are pretty simple. Demand goes up, prices go up. Supply goes up, prices go down.

Conversely, if prices go down, demand tends to go up. If prices rise, demand falls.

Enter the John ‘YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFF OF MY LAWN!’ McCain. He and his team of brilliant advisers have come up with a great idea. Let’s have a holiday from the gas tax this summer. Sounds good, no? Not.

John McCain is proposing to eliminate the 18.9 cent federal gas tax as a way to ease the burden of rising gas prices on his friends, the regular Americans. But what does this mean?

If we lower the price of gas, demand will go up, which will in turn drive prices up. So we take $.20/gallon away from the Federal Treasury. More people feel inclined to drive this summer because gas is cheaper. The price rises to the cost with the tax, except now the oil companies are making the $.20/gallon instead of the Treasury. That is his brilliant plan.

So not only is it a bone headed idea, but it flies in the face of the fact that we need to be encouraging people to drive less, both to help stabilize the price of oil, but also because the last time I checked the consensus of the global scientific community is that we have a wee problem with carbon emissions.

So of course both Democratic nominees oppose this, because they are both smart people with wise economists on their side, right? Wrong.

Hill’s down. Granted, she wants to finance the cut with a windfall tax on the oil companies’ profits whereas McCain just wants to write Big Oil a blank check, but she’s still firmly in the Voodoo Economics Camp. When was the last time Shrub, Jr. let a bill go across his desk that cut into rich people’s profits? Never, that’s when. So her plan is both irresponsible and logistically impossible. So either she’s dense as old growth, or she’s trying to pander to the low information voters. Either way stinks.

This is not a responsible plan. This is not a plan a responsible leader would endorse. This is election year shenanigans at their most pitiful.

I’m calling it. Hillary has jumped the shark. Stick a fork in her, she’s done.

Update:

“I’m not going to put in my lot with economists,” Hillary told George Stephanopoulos this weekend, ““Elite opinion is always on the side of doing things that really disadvantages the vast majority of Americans.”

What other recent President doesn’t believe in the opinions of ‘experts’? I’m drawing a blank…

When will the Hillary model come out?

Updated Again:

Damn that shit is dumb.

Lessons Learned

One of the best bloggers out there pretty much nails it:

Things I have learned during this campaign season:

In a race that includes a former First Lady of the United States and a multimillionaire Republican senator rumored to share up to eight residences with his wife, the black guy from Chicago is unforgivably elitist.

Racism in America is caused primarily by black Chicago preachers.

The guy who keeps getting confused over the relationship between Iraq, Iran, and al Qaeda is the foreign policy expert.

The guy who goes to campaign stops on his wife’s private jet aircraft is the most down-to-earth.

The guy who changed his stance on tax cuts, Roe v. Wade, immigration, gun control, the confederate flag, torture, public financing, and his own anti-earmark rhetoric is the “straight talker”.

People in the heartland don’t like it when you call them bitter, but they do like it when you explain to them that they’re too dumb to understand issues more important than whether or not they like to be called bitter.

Arugula is the measure of a man.

Bowling is the measure of a man.

Orange juice is the measure of a man.

Flag pins are the measure of a man.

Success in Iraq consists of any reduction in violence, except when violence increases that’s good too.

A recession is only a recession if you call it one.

Bill Kristol, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Karl Rove, Maureen Dowd, David Brooks, David Broder, Charles Krauthammer and Bob Novak are all intensely interested in giving advice to the Democratic candidates because they just want to be helpful.

There are people in this world dumb enough to believe every one of these things.

Amen, Hunter.

Bonus Hunter post:

Foreign Policy As Practiced By Seven Year Old Children

Rift

Is this election almost over? Have we heard enough about dark people and manly guffaws and crooked-assed straight talkers and glass ceilings and electability and ‘My friends’ and flag pins and patriotism and Michigan and Florida and voting irregularities and internecine rancor and 100 years of war and Faux news and madrassas and HUSSEIN! and inevitability and Democrats acting like Republicans and Beltway Advisers and someone’s Reverend (certainly not the white guy’s) and polling and robocalls and dirty tricks and he-said-she-said and White-said-Black-said and dog-whistle phrases and cutting off our noses to spite our faces?

Have you heard enough? I know I have.

I would really like to hear how we are going to avoid the Second Great Depression.

I would really like to hear about not giving phone companies automatic immunity.

I would really like to hear that we are not going to bomb Iran.

I would really like to hear that we have a plan to ween ourselves of oil that doesn’t involve using valuable agricultural land.

I would really like to get back to reality.

It seems that we are mostly living our lives vicariously through media. A media that has proven again and again to be nothing more than a vapid club of cool kids clamoring for attention. We obsess over Brittney’s shaved snatch and Lindsey’s wrecked car and if Brangelina will stay together and adopt 227, 314 more rainbow colored kids while there are food riots and people predicting $200/barrel gas all headed up by possibly the most incompetent government put together since the days of the banana republics.

I have repeatedly tried to start posts only to wad the virtual page up and throw it in the trashcan of impotent outrage. What. The. Fuck.

So I decided that this presidential race is all about the Supreme Court. We cannot let McCain in the White House. Period. I don’t care how you feel about Barry or Hill. We cannot let any more retrograde conservatives that prefer the heady days before Sufferage and the abolishment of slavery to legislate morality from the highest court in the land. If McCain gets in, we will have an entire generation of terrible rulings, coupled with the outrageous affronts to our liberties already in place thanks to the current cabal in power.

So I’m less and less fond of Hillary the more she seems to be on message with McCain. But I’ll vote for a polished turd over Old Man McScarypants. But can’t we just vote tomorrow?

War Porn

The sear trips.

The hammer drops, driving the firing pin forward.

The firing pin embeds with the open, welcoming primer.

Click

The pin hits the primer.

FsssshhhhPOP

The primer cooks off.

The flame spreads into the powder in the case.

BAM

The powder cooks, and the bullet releases from the case and enters the barrel.

The pressure builds behind the round as it gathers speed down the barrel.

The gas is routed back through the gas port, inpinging on the bolt carrier.

The bold carrier is driven backwards, disengaging from the chamber.

The bullet exits the barrel, having reached it’s final velocity, and the pressure in the barrel subsides.

The bolt carrier travels back on it’s rails, pulling the spent casing back with it.

The extractor hits the cam and kicks the spent case out of the ejection port.

The bolt carrier hits the end of it’s travel and begins to return forward.

The bullet is seventy five yards downrange, traveling at twenty nine hundred feet per second.

The bolt carrier strikes the top round in the magazine, stripping it and driving it into the chamber.

The bolt locks up with the fresh round correctly headspaced in the chamber.

The round is supersonic, traveling downrange with a familiar ripping noise.

The round hits a young Iraqi, high in the chest.

It’s a 55 grain slug with a steel or titanium penetrator core.

It pierces the skin and begins to expand in the muscle. It barely touches the rib as it goes by, but it’s enough to set it to tumbling. It tumbles through the chest cavity, down and to the left, tearing through the right lung, liver and the top of the right kidney. It exits, spent, in the lower back after knocking a chunk out of the pelvis.

The young Iraqi runs a few steps, slows, looks around in confusion. Blood bubbles up in his mouth. He coughs and spits. Looks around again. Nobody’s around. The sound of gunfire still hammers in his ears. He takes a few steps into an ally, and drops to his knees.

He doesn’t know it, but his lung is collapsing while his chest cavity fills with blood. Very little blood leaks out of the small entry and almost as small exit wounds. But the bleeding is fierce. This young man’s life will, from here, be measured in minutes.

He flops, propping up against the wall of the ally. Breathing is harder. His vision is grey. The sounds of the fight seem farther away. He thinks of his childhood, of his sister, his mother. He just needs to rest. Yeah. He leans over, coughs up a great gout of blood, and he dies.

You want porn? War is porn.

Sex is beautiful, even when it’s not.

When strangers fight desperately to kill one another?

That’s the most evil pornography imaginable. And that seems perfectly acceptable to these criminals.

Bah..

mikey

I’ve got a question.

How come banks can keep track of millions if not billions of pennies going every which way, each and every day, but we can’t insure that our votes are accurately counted?

Really, what is so hard about this? Is it that the profit motive of the banks encourages them to keep track and there is no such motive for elections? Does it serve some higher purpose to keep the elections opaque?

Seriously, we put a dogdammed slew of people on the moon, and we can’t count votes carefully? It is almost like we’re not interested in having a smoothly running democracy.

Epic over at the Great Orange Satan has some interesting info from Pennsylvania today.

Here’s my idea. We vote on electronic machines. When we ‘pull the lever’, a receipt spits out. We then review the receipt and sign it and drop it into a secure ballot box. Then we check the physical receipts to the electronic tallies. If the difference is too large, we know there has been fraud.

Simple right? WTF?

Hope Bong

I am far too incompetent to embed video in this blog. But I just watched Steven Colbert tell Larry king that Obama is passing his Hope Bong around the drum circle of American Youth. Then he pantomimes taking a hit.

Watch it.

If Obama were an alien, this would be what he’s packing.

Glass Art by Scott Deppe

From the Dashboard.

I write mostly about politics. Mostly.

So naturally my Top Searches are for political terms, right?

Top Searches

Superbowl, gay, Janet jackson super bowl

Heh. Indeed.

That’s one way to do it…

Due to various personal reasons, I have been remiss in my blogging duties. Sorry it’s so sparse around here lately. I have so much on my plate that I’m not even hungry.

Hungry? Not me: